Keeping patience with three year old

[LockdownStressed]

Please be gentle as I’m feeling really guilty. I’m having difficulty keeping my cool when my three year old pushes my buttons. He’s just a normal three year old. But things like playing on the stairs/not holding banister when I’m walking down in front of him holding the baby, ignoring me when I tell him to hold on to be safe, being silly and not listening when I’m trying to get him dressed to go out etc. Getting ready to go anywhere (dreading nursery mornings!) I don’t scream and swear at him by any stretch but I’m often stern with him and can hear my voice getting louder and higher, making random threats like- I’ll take your toys away if you don’t listen, we won’t go to the park etc.

I get upset every evening and promise to do better but I get so irritated with him. I love him more than anything! I’m not sleeping well at the moment because of baby, and it’s a really unnatural situation being stuck inside due to lockdown, usually we’d be with friends, soft play etc. I know it’s hard for everyone at the moment and I’m not making excuses. I just feel I’m not teaching him in a respectful way, but stamping all over him with words when he’s only little

Any advice welcome to try and keep my patience, I don’t want hun to remember his child hood having been unable to express himself or get told off too harshly for things!

Hi there I'm doing exactly the same only difference is my sons nearly two,it's not helping as I'm currently going through pregnancy issues too so I'm getting more stressed,you not alone here if you want to chat x

My DS is just 3 and I have a very similar experience. Getting him dressed is sometimes such a battle, brushing teeth, just getting him to flipping listen to me. It drives me insane and I have to work hard not to lose my temper. Two things I do, which do work some of the time are to use a time out, or a count to three. He gets a warning for his behaviour, and if he doesn't stop then he sits on a step for 3 minutes. And if I want him to do something and he is resisting or dicking about, I tell him very clearly what I want him to do, in very simple terms, and that I am going to give him until the count of three to do it. If he doesn't do it, by the time I count 3, he will have a time out.

These are effective I would say 50-75% of the time, and I try to use them instead of shouting, because just shouting feels very ineffective to me with my DS. I think 3 is old enough to learn that actions have consequences, and that there are good and bad choices.

I also remove toys for example if he throws it, hits someone with it, or does something dangerous with it, again I warn him, and if he does it again it gets removed and placed out of reach. It's an immediate consequence, but giving him the chance to make the decision not to do that thing in the first place.

I think if you're just shouting, or saying you will take his toy and then don't follow through, then he's not going to see the results of his actions or learn from them. The thing that seems to have the most impact is that if I say DS is going to go into time out, then he knows I mean it.

Nothing works 100% of the time tbh. Sometimes he still acts out, it's inevitable, he's 3. I often find myself mentally counting to ten and thinking this too shall pass... (or thinking 'don't swear don't swear don't swear). It's bloody hard work sometimes.

Hi,I haven't tryed time out yet as I thought my son was too young (nearly 2).I have although tryed the step and it just didn't work at all,he screams quite a lot if he doesn't get his own way so then just for quite I give him what he wants.lately he keeps bang things on the TVs no matter how many times he's told not to do it.it's quite difficult especially with lockdown more mums are more stressed and it's quite hard for mum to express and actually say how there feeling🤬,just no your all not alone,I'm happy to talk if anyone needs a chat,stay safe😊

Definitely agree you are not alone and don't beat yourself up about it.
Kids generally play up for attention and if you don't rise to it they will give up!
I can remember my toddler having a tantrum in the aisle in Tesco i just left her and walked off, watching her from around the corner. She soon panicked when a stranger said something to her. She never done it again.
You have to be cruel to be kind