I live with my partner and our three children who are 5, 3 and 1. Today being Valentines Day I did a thing where I made a paper heart for everyone and got each person in the family to write something they love about that person on it. Obvs I am writing for the 5 and 3 year old but I asked them what they loved about that person and wrote it down. They quickly thought of something for everyone apart from their dad. Instead they said things like, dont love him, he’s annoying, he’s bossy. It was really difficult getting anything out of them and we ended up with shallow things like “he took me swimming” and “he took me on the dodgems” 🙄.
I see the tension between them day to day but have dismissed it thinking I was being overly sensitive, and also because they do have fun with him sometimes. He is strict and often disciplines the eldest by putting him straight in his room, which I disagree with. I feel there should be more discussion. He is not particularly tactile or soppy with them, but I’ve just been putting that down to a different parenting style that will give them balance in the long run. All the children are and have always been emotionally and physically closer to me. Again I put this down to me staying at home with them while he was out working. However, due to covid he has been home with us nearly full time bar mornings so they are spending a great deal of time with him. Is this just a phase or should I be concerned about how their relationship with him might develop? If it is not great now I can only see it getting worse as they become teens when they are going to clash heads with an authoritative figure even more. I don’t know whether to bring this up with him as it will upset him and make him feel like we are ganging up against him and like I am criticising him. Have your kids gone through phases like this and if so did it work out in the end?