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Parenting

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8yo DS won't stop moving and I find it very stressful - sensory issues or just

5 replies

mustbebetter · 10/02/2021 11:14

Hi everyone, I never really considered any sensory issues before and DS is bright, intelligent, doing well at school etc etc. Happy, well behaved, sociable, writes and reads well, understands maths.

However he never stops moving and when he was a baby and young child was constantly on the go and I have realised that that is still the case often. I always put it down to him being a kid or wanting attention or just being young. And put the stress I suffered down to being a single parent with no family or ex support, and also trying to manage my own work in the process. That in itself is incredibly stressful. I do find his constant moving a real trigger for me though, making me wonder if the problem is me (i do suffer some anxiety) or if it's the behaviour I find unsettling. Or if it could just be the fact we've been cooped up for weeks without seeing anyone (it has been a bit worse lately). I do find that I get less stressed when I have some support, for example when school is on or whatever. He is also quite clumsy and is "all arms and legs" but aren't all 8 year olds? This has improved considerably in recent years so this could just be a kid thing...?!

Since lockdown started again I have noticed that his constant movement and standing on his head or awkwardly sitting leaning to the side or whatever is part of his way of coping with learning. it seems to be some sort of sensory way of learning, as he seems to learn better this way! It makes trying to teach him very difficult as he won't sit still through a video and launches himself onto my lap, nuzzling his head or pushing himself into me, or standing on his head on the sofa. I find it all very stressful and now I wonder if it's something more than just me not coping as a single parent.

I was reading up a bit on SPD and it sounds like it could be a mild form of this although there aren't really many other indicative factors other than the constant moving (he is a bit fussy with food but not with clothes or anything else). I absolutely do not want to over medicalise this, I have no issues with him as a kid and I don't necessarily think labels are helpful (SPD or ADHD or whatever). I do not want him medicated or anything else should it turn out to be a mild form of either of these type things.

The teacher has not mentioned it - only a few years ago when he was younger she noted when she was teaching he would be fidgety whilst teaching and that it might help him to learn to do so and be a sensory thing. I do think the teachers would have mentioned it again in the intervening years if they thought it was a real issue.

In any case I wondered if anyone had words of wisdom on how to cope with it, your experiences etc of similar and tips for getting through. Particularly as a parent I am stressed out at the best of times but this seems to be the thing that gets me more than anything - the frequent interruption.

We are cooped up in a small flat without a garden and with lockdown this is going to make any kid go more fidgety and I get that. But my stress levels are pretty high and I would like to find better ways of managing or tips and advice on it. Many thanks

OP posts:
Igglepigglepeppaandgeorge · 10/02/2021 14:58

I do a minimum of 1 hour brisk walk per day. Push ups etc in the house. Ring fit on the switch and work out videos and dance videos on YouTube. Watching kids exercise is less annoying then watching them fidget.

Sweetpea1532 · 10/02/2021 18:10

@mustbebetter
As a mother to DC with sensory issues I would strongly recommend that you get a full assessment for your DS...all of my DC have different issues. You won't have to put him on medication as there are many behaviour modifications that can help him learn strategies to deal in this complex world....It could be an issue with visual processing, auditory processing, etc. The brain is so complex and thank goodness there has been great strides in this areas. For instance, my DD sees double when she tries to read anything at arms length because her eyes do not converge the letters on the page.. regular eye dr told me it was all in her head and for her to get attention....ask DS why he dies the things he does...listen to your child..he's the only one who knows what is happening...ie...DS why do you stand on your head on the sofa? Ask probing questions..he'll tell you if you're wrong.

santabetterwashhishands · 10/02/2021 18:27

My 7 year old daughter just can't stay still,she has bruised legs from constantly banging them
On her table while doing schoolwork 😫
She also can't stay quiet if she's not talked he's humming 😫
She definitely has sensory issues 😳

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ElspethFlashman · 10/02/2021 18:30

Well mine is the same.

He has been diagnosed with Adhd. He is bright as a button, but basically a perpetual motion machine and will talk 24/7. He also has meltdowns, though they are improving and shortening in duration with each year.

We are not medicating as frankly he doesn't need it yet. He is academically and socially doing very well. Lots of pals.

But we have found the diagnosis has helped a LOT with the school. They have given him loads of leeway and practical support.

And most importantly they got him a Bitty Bottom cushion!! He absolutely loves it. It allows him to wriggle in place. Honestly we should get one for home but we haven't yet. As a result, yes, homeschool is stressful as he is hopping all over the place and yes, it can be a bit overwhelming for me. It is often very overwhelming reading him a story as he will chew on my clothes given half a chance. We have Chew Buddies and I will literally stick one in his mouth. They are great.

But I have found that the diagnosis has made me a better parent. I am much more tolerant when you know its essentially a tic that he can't help. You stop trying to quieten him and instead find a way of focusing the movement, with these physical resources.

BangingOn · 10/02/2021 18:31

DS is very similar and school are working towards a diagnosis of dyspraxia. He also has issues with fine motor skills, handwriting and was due to begin speech and language therapy pre-lockdown. A weighted lap blanket for home learning has helped him a little.

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