Making 'mum friends'

[BrilliantBetty]

I really need the support of other mums locally. I feel so caged in with baby and like I have no one to talk to who is going through the same thing / same phases.

It's draining. I am a sociable being and miss contact with others. I was looking forward to this year of mat leave to make new friends. And being able to raise my baby to know other kids.

What should my strategy be for making friends with other mums once restrictions are lifted? I'll no longer be on mat leave, though part time. I'll have missed the new baby type groups. I have missed the pinnacle time when mums meet other mums and become friends

Dont worry everyone has missed them! Everyone will be in the same boat as you. When restrictions are lifted sign up maybe to a baby sensory class (our one has three levels - so from pretty much newborn up to toddlers!) or maybe swimming classes? There are also mama and baby workout classes which are quite fun. I managed a few classes in between lockdowns and it was sooo good to get out and have some interaction, though sadly you couldn’t go for coffees or hang out after as everything was shut! So most people with babies of the same age as you will be in the exact same position. Some people have said the Peanut app is quite good for connecting, I’ve not tried it myself yet. We also have local Facebook groups where mums ask advice or for recommendations and people can get chatting through there too x

Round here a antenatal group lady has organised something she's called buggy buddies, basically those in your situation have a group on FB and out on if they are going for wakk/would like to meet new mums, age of baby etc and then others can agree to meet for a walk/daily excercise with one other (abiding by distancing etc). It has been emmesly popular, maybe you could try something like this x

There will still be groups nearby when things start opening.
Will your dc be at nursery as you'll meet mums that way too.
See what's online- support can be via a phone. Sometimes easier.

Mine is of an age where squabbles are happening and I'm learning how kids relationships with each other can really impact the parents friendships!

@SlB09

Wow, that sounds brilliant

Find local parent groups on Facebook or whatever. Look for hand me on groups, children's centres, or just parent socialising groups.

Post that your are on maternity leave, bored and looking for a lockdown walk buddy. You can bypass all the awkwardness of trying to make friends at a baby class and skip straight to hanging out. One of the few pandemic perks in my opinion.

It is like speed dating for mum friends.

A woman in my ante natal yoga class asked the teacher if she could send an email asking if local mums wanted to join a WhatsApp group to arrange walks/coffee (back in the summer when that was allowed). There must be about 10 in the group with maybe 5 or 6 active. It's been fairly quiet lately but I'm hopeful that it'll pick up again once the weather is better and especially if restrictions are lifted a bit. I thought it was great that the woman has the confidence to be proactive like that - there are so many lonely mums!

Im in Bournemouth if anyone wants a lonely mums group!

You can bypass all the awkwardness of trying to make friends at a baby class and skip straight to hanging out. One of the few pandemic perks in my opinion

Very good point!!

I had booked swimming sessions and was secretly thrilled not to have to go

I would look to see what NCT is offering in terms of online. Also, I know in lots of local parenting groups, mums were saying, does anyone want to meet up for a SD walk? And people would just organise it. They didn't know each other before.

That said, I've had two non-lockdown mat leaves and honestly after the first year, I didn't really keep up friendships with any of the 'mum friends' I made, with a few exceptions (about 2 friends from our NCT class, we are still friends 8 years later). Honestly, once you get through the baby stage when you're sort of bored and at home, I found I didn't have much in common with them. We didn't have similar interests or professional backgrounds. We weren't people who ever would have spent time together if we hadn't met at a time when we were home and bored a lot. Even my NCT friends found it really difficult to meet up after mat leave. We mostly just went back to our normal friends and our normal routines.