At the school gates

[DNHandTNS]

I work in the community and am a single mum with no local relatives to help me out on school closures, so have had to take my 9yo on a few home visits with clients. I have always been very careful to keep my home life separate, but have a "difficult" elderly man who has been persistent and kept "popping in" to my office. I had a word with my manager and moved offices (he doesn't know where!) and I thought everything was good- BUT

A few months ago, the same client went up to my 9yo child outside school (child was on his own by the gate with friends as I'd dropped him off and gone to work) and actually asked my child for our address.

I only realized this when he turned up later on unannounced. I was devastated to lose my privacy, but my child didn't see it as stranger danger because he'd visited the client's house with me. I've seen this man walking near my house a lot since then as if he's trying to bump into me.

Obviously I need to impress upon my child not to feel pressurized to give information away in future. Am I being unfair to be really angry about this intrusion into my private life or just over reacting?

Personally I would get the police involved. I would be enraged that he approached my young child like that!!

I am really upset that he put my kid on the spot like that and got our address. But, I haven't reported it yet because I thought it was my fault for introducing my son to this man.
I was forced to take him on a home visit due to no childcare when the school was shut, but thought it doesn't count as "stranger danger" because they knew each other's names and had chatted during my work.

Exactly OP. He took advantage of your son's young age and naivety to get access to private information. If he was looking for you he should have contacted your employer.

I think he behaved in an .... irregular way and, like I said, I would feel very unease about it. I would probably ask the police or maybe your employer (that might be a less harsh option) to have a chat with him, just a warning. And to definitely tell him to not approach your underaged son.

@Grey12 He has tried to get my personal info from my employer but they didn't give it to him. I have a work phone which he has the number of, but it's switched off when I'm not working.

Basically, he seems to think he's God's gift to women, but the harsh truth is that if I wasn't PAID to see him through my job, I would choose not to.

I'm really annoyed/ creeped out because he's so smarmy and doesn't seem to respect boundaries.

I would report this to the police and to your son’s school so they know to keep an eye out for him. I would also ask your work if someone else could start dealing with this client so you don’t have to be around him. And I would really try to find alternatives to taking your son on home visits in future, if that’s at all possible. Is there a childminder or local friend who could keep an eye on him as necessary?

Nope, that's creepy as fuck and way beyond acceptable behaviour. I'd get the police and the school involved.

Not sure what working in the community is, but can your company sever ties with him/can your manager step in?

@KatyClaire and @BlueJayWay91 Thanks for the advice, I will be giving a report to the police asap. It's been almost impossible due to covid to manage home schooling, juggling work and my usual childcare isn't available.

I can't give details on here for confidentiality reasons and also my own privacy, but I might be able to work a different area. It's going to make my life even harder and my days longer if I work another area because I'll have to pay more in childcare and spend more money travelling.