19 month old is so miserable...

[SpeechieE]

Hi everyone, I am writing for some reassurance that I'm not mad, a terrible parent or doing everything wrong.. My DD is 19 months old and seems to be so upset 95% of the time... She has tantrums at the tiniest thing, whines and cries most of the time, nothing I or my DH does seems to cheer her up and I am starting to feel very low about the situation...It's definitely made harder by lockdown and not being able to get out and do things as we normally would, but I feel anxious even taking her out for a walk as she hates being in the pram or the car seat. The 5% of the time when she is happy it is such a joy, she is so funny, her language is coming on brilliantly, but she's definitely in that frustrated stage when she knows what she wants to say, just not quite how she needs to communicate it. She's also a bum-shuffler so isn't walking yet, which is something else that frustrates her as she isn't quite as independent as she wants to be. Has anyone else had this? Does it get better?

I've not had that at this age, but literally everything is a phase. So I'd just bear with it. Life is frustrating, your DD just hasn't learned to hide her reaction to that yet. Same applies to a lot of people on MN, frankly, so maybe she never will.

My DD was more whingey than my DS is He's too, and happy 95% of the time and when he's unhappy he usually frowns and pouts which is unbearably cute, and when he's really really unhappy he grumbles and sometimes throws stuff, like a miserable old man.

It strikes me this is a weird reply, but I've just finished reading "Normal People" which is a weird book, and has got under my skin. Sorry. Hope your DD cheers up, sooner or later. If not, give her chocolate, that usually does the trick.

My daughter was difficult for years, screamed with colic as a baby, was difficult to make happy, wouldn't play games or read books, as she got older refused to eat what I cooked her, hated everything I suggested like going to the cinema, going for a day out to the beach, she wouldn't do Anything I asked. She's a teenager now and her brain is maturing. She can see that she is being difficult and at least we have times when she tries to be nice/good. Some children are more difficult than others. Like pp said, it's a phase.

DD seemed to have constant tantrums from 1-2yo. After that the tantrums got bigger but more infrequent which is my preferred option I think! I'd imagine not being able to walk yet is very frustrating to her as well as her developing language but hopefully you should see some changes there soon.

Yes, I can relate to this. My daughter went through many stages of moaning I remember at around 17-18 months I had read in the development books that at this age your baby should find everything funny. And I though that we had a very miserable baby, she would be happy about 10 minutes a day, not exaggerating, and the rest of the day she would moan. It was rather difficult.
I then tried to reset my attitude and was super cheerful with her, it could have been a coincidence but that day when I was being excited about everything, she was also happier and from then on she’s grown into a 2 year old that does find everything hilarious.

There is still some whining or frustration if she’s tired or hungry or she can’t quite master what she wants to do (climb up the slide or get on the swings and God forbid if you try to help her) but the general crankiness isn’t there anymore and it’s pleasant to spend a day with her. I would say she’s happy 90% of the time now. So hold on there, it does get better :)