Selfish to want your sleep?

[hulloall]

I have 2 children aged 4 and 1.

Myself and my partner have one full sleep and lie in a week while the other one has both kids downstairs.

The last month or so, the eldest has started coming in to the bedroom when one of us is meant to be having a lie in. He will sit there watching telly and will try to be quiet, but obviously can't help himself and starts babbling away.

I have told my partner it needs to stop because neither of us are having a full sleep each week. He would go absolutely mental if we tried to make him go downstairs and my partner is such a softy that he would get up at 5am and have both kids in bed all morning. I just really do need that sleep. I think the eldest is doing it because he knows he won't get 1 on 1 attention downstairs with the youngest there as well.

My partner thinks I'm being unreasonable and selfish and that it is just part of having children. I agree that it is part of having children, however why should a 3 year old be ruling the roost?? Am I being selfish?

I'm with you, I think it's down the one downstairs to make sure he stays down there. Tell him the kids tv channel is sadly broken on the upstairs tv. If he goes downstairs he gets tv and his favourite breakfast.

We have a similar issue. You're not being unreasonable but I think it depends on what time it is. If you child is coming in your room at 6am fair enough to be annoyed. If it's 9am, I can see where's he's coming from.

@yearinyearout Genius idea!!! That would definitely work. How have I not thought of that 🙈.

@OnSilverStars it's normally about 6am unfortunately 😩. Can't wait until that day I have to wake them up!!

I'd be with you on this, I'd need the time off if not the sleep. I have an almost three year old and we're fast learning you can have the big battle once or the little battle repeatedly. I think if you had the battle one weekend (one downstairs dealing with the screaming, one upstairs listening to it, no fun for either of you) you might get your lie in back the next week.

WTF! That is not giving you a lie in.

It's the person who's getting up's responsibility to keep the DC out of the room.

My 2.5yo understands "Don't go in there, Daddy is sleeping" - a 4yo can definitely understand. Your husband isn't being direct enough.

The only reason he will go nuts if you stop him from doing this is because he's been allowed to do it so far. I would talk to him about it and say when mum/dad is having a lie in, he's not to come in. Try a sign on the door or something - no entry, sleeping. And when that sign is there he's not allowed to enter.

Then Dad needs to actually engage the DC with attention if that's what he needs to keep him downstairs.

It isn't part of having children if there are two adults to look after them and you have an agreement about lie ins.

It's not kind to DC never to have any boundaries. You'll end up ratty and resentful.

Unplug the tv and tell him its broken. Problem gone.

Worth moving the tv out of the bedroom for imv

No need to lie about the tv being broken, although you could take it out for good measure. Tell the 4 year old they aren’t to come in, mum needs her sleep and the parent downstairs gets a grip and keeps the child down.

I agree, he should be making an effort to keep the oldest out of your room.

100% put a stop to it. 'Little' problems cause big issues. Also, sleep is SO important!