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Original poster

Help me to not lose my shit!

17 replies

TaVeryMuchLove · 06/02/2021 17:45

Somebody please help me with my fussy eater, or reassure me that it’s just a phase - I’m at my wits end.

DS is 3.5 and has, what I think, is a very limited diet. It’s not always been this way. He used to try everything I gave him when we were weaning him, he was brilliant. Since then he’s refused more and more foods to the point where he now only has a small selection of things.

He’ll eat fruit, tomatoes, crackers, pasta with plain tomato sauce, chicken nuggets and peas. Oh, and cereal for breakfast. That’s it. Otherwise, he just point blank refuses to try anything else and has a complete meltdown.

I know that making a big deal out of it will make things worse, but I’m getting so frustrated it’s hard to hide my anger when he refuses a perfectly good plate of food. I don’t give him alternatives - he goes without.

It doesn’t help that I absolutely hate waste and it makes me so cross to be throwing away so much food.

This evening, more food has gone in the bin and I’m so done with it all.

Someone please help me before I lose my shit!

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IHateCoronavirus · 06/02/2021 17:49

My youngest went through a fussy stage at about that age. We kept on presenting him with the same regular family meals, encouraging but not forcing and he gradually went back to eating everything.
Now at five you would never guess he was fussy at all.

Original poster
TaVeryMuchLove · 06/02/2021 17:59

That gives me some hope, thank you!

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wilkos · 06/02/2021 18:03

My dd spent her second year with 75% of her diet consisting of marmite in toast. It'd known by the family as 'Wilkos juniors marmite year'Grin

She went back to normal eating after that with no fanfare at all

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Original poster
TaVeryMuchLove · 06/02/2021 18:04

@IHateCoronavirus if you don’t mind me asking, how did you deal with it if he refused what you were offering?

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mamma2016 · 06/02/2021 18:05

Try reading 'my child won't eat'. This book helped me chill out about the picky eating. Mine now has gradually widened her diet.

Meggymoo777 · 06/02/2021 18:16

My DS went through a fussy phase at about 3 as well, I did the same as you and he went without if he refused food. Phase didn't last long, get him involved in the cooking and baking etc I found that really helped!

He's now 11, he would try and eat anything, loves seafood in particular and he's honestly my favourite little buddy if I'm cooking or going out for lunch or dinner! Stick with it... this too shall pass! 🤣

vulturedudess · 06/02/2021 18:20

@IHateCoronavirus

My youngest went through a fussy stage at about that age. We kept on presenting him with the same regular family meals, encouraging but not forcing and he gradually went back to eating everything. Now at five you would never guess he was fussy at all.
Same as both mine.

We always offered food they liked alongside things they didn't and eventually they ate most of it (at around 4 or 5).

Don't make a fuss, just keep offering small amounts of a variety of foods and encourage a taste here and there. If you're eating it as well it can help.

Eeeemac · 06/02/2021 18:26

My ex mother-in-law once told me that she took her daughter to the doctor age 3 and told him that she would only eat peas.

The doctor said to bring her back if she stopped eating peas.

It is a stage. Relax.

Bedtimebear40 · 06/02/2021 18:32

Ignore it, ignore it, ignore it.

Don't make as much to start with.

As unpopular an opinion it is on MN, I don't agree with the principle that kids must eat what the grown ups eat. I don't like some foods. Why would my children be any different?

kittlesticks · 06/02/2021 18:36

I think it's a phase but I share your feelings as I have a DS the same age.
A few things we do...
He has a plate which is divided up so he gets to try small amounts of everything.
There is always one section on there that he will eat I.e a safe food for him
We eat together as a family at least 4 times a week.
We try not to comment on stuff he won't eat but we do say he can't say he doesn't like it unless he tries it.
The Instagram account 'kids eat in colour' is brilliant, American based but run by a dietician and she has amazing tips for fussy kids.
She has recipes too that make food look attractive to them but still very nutritious.
The phrases she quotes are really useful like things to say during meal times about food that are positive.
Good luck.

Original poster
TaVeryMuchLove · 06/02/2021 18:45

Thank you so much for all your advice. You have given me some really good ideas to try out and, more importantly, some hope! I need to chill out about it, I know I do. I think I’m just worried that we’ll never manage to have a meal together or go out to eat (whenever we’ll be allowed to do that again anyway!)

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Original poster
TaVeryMuchLove · 06/02/2021 18:46

@Eeeemac

My ex mother-in-law once told me that she took her daughter to the doctor age 3 and told him that she would only eat peas.

The doctor said to bring her back if she stopped eating peas.

It is a stage. Relax.

This made me smile!
OP posts:
Newt432 · 06/02/2021 18:57

My ds has been fussy since he turned about 19months old. And it’s slowly improving but it’s still very limited. He is almost 3.

I go by the ‘division of responsibilities’ - I decide what he will eat and when and it’s his choice to decide if he eats. I always have a safe food choice but try and add things he has eaten before and now doesn’t or new things.

So his diet is limited to waffles and similar potato products, plain pasta (no sauce!) some fruits, alphabites, Ice cream, jelly, cucumber, yoghurt (inconsistent), jam bread (inconsistent), brioche rolls (inconsistent), cheese (inconsistent)

So for example for dinner I served cucumbers, yoghurt, and waffles. He had the waffles, cucumbers, didn’t have the yoghurt. If he says he doesn’t like it or it’s disgusting (!) I tell him it’s ok he doesn’t need to eat it. He can eat from what’s on the plate.

If he touches it or handles it - that’s progress. If he eats it or tastes it that’s progress. No forcing him to eat any of it.

I keep offering hoping he’ll try it and over the last 18 months probably new items he has tried are small but an improvement. He now for example has watermelon and will have jam bread.

Also if your child is a healthy in general then I think there is less cause for concern.

Newt432 · 06/02/2021 18:58

😂 I call it jam bread for the little guy but it’s just a jam sandwich!

User0ne · 06/02/2021 19:14

My now 4 year old got like this for a while and eventually it became too much of a pain so we implemented the following:

He would get 1 piece of each meal component on his plate (last night we had spinach and date salad so he got 1 leaf of spinach, 1/4 date, 1 bread crouton, 1 almond) once he's eaten that then he can pick what he would like more of assuming there's any of it left.

It took a week or so but he will now pretty reliably eat all of the things on his plate and then choose more. It has massively expanded what he will eat and try.

I'm also stricter about snacks in the run up to meals and about what he can eat later if he hasn't had a decent amount of dinner/lunch/breakfast.

We've always eaten together as a family so that might help too.

User0ne · 06/02/2021 19:15

I should add that last night he wanted lots more "leaves" and some bread. He wouldn't touch spinach the first time we did this

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