Can I have more than 1 child support bubble

[SassyPants87]

Hi all

I have a 16 week old baby and my current child support bubble are my husband's parents and brother (1 household). They are our bubble because they live in the same city as us but to be totally honest they haven't helped us at all. They come round maybe once a week to play with the baby for an hour and then just leave. My husband also complains that they've never helped us yet doesn't say anything to them! He made a flippant comment once but they just kind of brushed it off.
I really want my support bubble to be with my family (although they live an hour away) I know they would help out so much and also I can just get away with the baby for a bit every now and then and stay with them.

Trouble is, my husband still wants my in laws to be our bubble so they can still see the baby. Am I allowed to have two support bubbles at alternate periods of time? I'm really struggling and just need a hand

Not at the same time, you need to leave two weeks (might be just 10 days, not 100% sure) in between if you switch to a new bubble.

No you can only have one support bubble. The support bubble is support baby and parents not for family to see a cute baby so I think you need to do whatever supports you most.

No. You could have a childcare bubble and a support bubble but the childcare bubble is for childcare, not socialising, and also doesn't seem necessary right now, unless there's something you haven't mentioned?

What do you need help with? A support bubble is about just being one household, maybe you could go to their home too on one day and they could see the baby? Maybe they didn't realise you wanted them to help?

If you isolated for two weeks every time you switched you probably could... but it’s a bit of a piss take. Could you not just switch to your family and then meet up with DH’s family (or get him to!) individually for walks? Restrictions might change in couple of months anyway.

Strictly speaking it is allowed within the rules if you leave a 10 day gap between the bubbles. But it is discouraged by the wording of the guidance and not really in the spirit of the rules to be chopping and changing

www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-support-bubble-with-another-household#changing-your-support-bubble

I'm in a similar situation. We have ended up bubbles with DP's ILs because they live nearby but I'd much rather see my Mum. My baby is 19 weeks. Hopefully this will be over soon & you can get some proper support

You can have both a Childcare and a support bubble, however

"A support bubble is different to a childcare bubble. Being in a support bubble does not stop you from forming a childcare bubble.

You might be able to form a childcare bubble to provide or receive childcare from one other household if you live with someone under the age of 14.

However, you must not meet socially with your childcare bubble, and must avoid seeing members of your childcare and support bubbles at the same time."

I'm bubbling with my family even though they are over 2 hours away as they provide me with the support I need when they are here. I manage when I'm alone and then the respite is so appreciated once they get here. We could bubble with my in laws who are much closer but they just wouldn't be able to provide me with what I need mentally or tbh practically despite them being lovely. We still see them though, but mostly outside (we haven't been perfect), much less duration of time and much less frequently despite the distance. But that is actually made possible by them being closer because its more practical to meet for a walk or a doorstop chat than it is for me to do that with my family who really need to be able to stay given the distance. So I think you need to have a chat with your DH.. but honestly if I had to make a decision I would see both sets of family and not worry about it.. you have a young baby and need support.

I would 100% bubble with your mum. Could you stay overnight to reduce the driving? Although an hour is a good nap distance. I would go to whoever gives YOU the most support as a new parent (so time out, making meals and social support). The IL could then see your baby for a walk as someone else has suggested.

I have a 12 week old and my inlaws could be my support bubble, but they like to sit on their phones or nap on my couch once they have taken an appropriate number of photos of my DDs. I have decided to not bubble with them and just send my 2 year old DD to nursery. My MIL has an underlying condition so I have said it's too risky to see them with DD in nursery, and DH agrees that it is about help, not the inlaws getting their baby fix. Go with what gives you the best support and help, but you cant have both sets of family.

No, you can't have 2 bubbles. You can isolate and then change your bubble to your family and then only see DHs family for one on one socially distanced walks.

You can also form a childcare bubble but that means no socialising, you just drop your DC off with them.

Sounds like your husband is trying to bend the rules so his parents can see the baby at the expense of your well being. If they are not supporting you then you should change to your parents. But you shouldn’t have both. Increased risk to everyone involved.

You should absolutely switch your support bubble to your mum. You need the support and DH’s family aren’t providing any.

A childcare bubble is different - and you can’t really have one as presumably you’re not leaving the baby with anyone so it wouldn’t count as “childcare”.

We have formed an under 1 support bubble with my partners parents, they are 4h away which is less than ideal. We were able to move in with them for 2 weeks over Christmas.
My parents are closer but my mum is a carer for my grandparents and child care for my niece (when schools are open) . My understanding of the under 1 support bubbles are that you can't be in any other support bubbles so my mum wouldn't be able to be in a childcare bubble with my niece and possibly wouldn't be able to be in a caring bubble with my grandparents

Thanks everyone. Agree that self isolating for 10 days before switching would be a pain especially if I was switching back and forth

I'm just going to have a conversation with my husband and tell him that I need the support and we need to switch. He knows his family hasn't been helping so it won't come as a surprise to him.

If your ILs are a childcare support bubble, you should be dropping your DC off with a minimum of interaction, or they come round to provide child care as you are going out. There is meant to be no socialising, just the minimum required admin. It's not a way to have a second support bubble.

What is happening here does not sound like a childcare bubble.

It is also preventing you from having support from your family. You cannot keep chopping and changing bubbles, but a planned single change (with at least a 10day buffer period in between) sounds the right plan here.

DH has had a support bubble based on his family for how long - 16 weeks? Your turn now.

And if he won't readily take turns, this is unfortunately the time to be having some hard conversations

You need to speak to them and tell them that you need help and as others have suggested go and visit them. Have you thought they are probably trying not to smother you or take over where baby is concerned. Do you actually ask them for help ?

This is why I picked a close family friend as our support bubble, rather than family. Both our families wouldn’t give any actual practical support they was worth anything, where as my friend has been a godsend.

They don’t seem to count as a bubble at all, really. They’re just seeing the baby. To count as a support bubble, they should be actually supporting you! A childcare bubble, they’re supposed to care for the child with minimal interaction between the adults of the households.

I’d get DH to tell them that they’ve had their turn and you’re switching to your mother for fairness. Wait the two weeks in between then get some actual support from your mum. In laws won’t like it but tough. I have a 13 week old baby who has only seen his grandparents once (in a park, no touching) due to the pandemic, so they’ve had more contact than lots of people.