Hello, I’m sorry if this isn’t appropriate to post here but I’m just after some advice.
My son had reported to someone that his dad has been hurting him, regularly. I have been told that his dad smacks him but I thought it was discipline. I don’t agree with smacking but I didn’t think there was a great deal I could. My relationship with their dad was incredibly emotionally abusive and I still have trauma from that and he gives me anxiety even just speaking to him makes me feel sick. But we have 2 children boy/girl 7/6. He doesn’t hit my daughter. However someone reported this to social services and they have contacted me. They advised me to stop contact but advised him that it is up to me because there is no court order. I have of course stopped all contact, including talking on the phone because I was advised by social services this could further harm the children. The children are happy with this for now. They have since talked to safeguarding at school. Safeguarding havent given me full details but have said my son was able to describe in great detail what his dad does to him which included strangling and he laughs when he does these things. My daughter has confirmed this to be true. They also did good house bad house and said myself and my partner would be in the good house and their dad would be in the bad house. The more time they spend away from their dad the more they tell me. I am at the stage now where I am being accused by their dad of lying about him, he is now coming up with weak criticisms of me as another which I think he will try and use against me. Nothing major and nothing true. My concern is that the outcome will be that the kids can go back to his house and he will have used his power of manipulation (as he did with me) to get away with how he is treating my son. And now that he has convinced himself that I am behind this that he will be more difficult to deal with. There instances in the past where he didn’t bring the kids when arranged etc. I am so worried about the outcome of the investigation. I believe my son completely as does safeguarding officer. I don’t want him to go back to that situation. He has been stressed and anxious in the past and I know it has come from his dad. And they’ve only not seen him for a couple of weeks and he has already started to improve and seems a lot happier. He is such a sweet boy but has a bad temper at times and I feel like I’m getting my sweet boy back. Social services havent arranged visits yet and I feel like I’m stuck in limbo not knowing what to expect or what the plan will be. Im sorry this is such a long story. But I’m hoping someone knows more about what I can do and how this will be assessed and can I be confident that social services will be able to ensure their safety? Thank you