Swearing and nippers - how bad is it?

[bohemianbint]

Just wondering cos I'm reading Yummy Mummy's Family Survival Guide (crap title, quite like the books though) and Liz Fraser has a slightly different take on it.

She says people in the real world swear (yeah, especially me) and it seems odd that people who know each other that well (ie family) can't say certain things in front of each other. I think the deal is that the parents swear but the kids don't really, (certainly not in public)?

Doesn't sound nice to hear a young child swear, obv. But they are going to hear it elsewhere and does making certain words taboo make them more likely to be said for the reaction they get? Also, hypothetically I'm not sure I like the idea of certain words being banned, but in reality I don't want my pre-verbal son making his talking debut with "fuck" or "bugger".

Whats everyone think?

We had a strict no-swear rule until youngest DC was 9, mainly because he'd take advantage otherwise.

Now they are older, DS2 sometimes swears at home (bloody, bugger etc but no 'f' words), but never in 'polite company' (out in public, and when friends and rellies are in the vicinity).

DH and I also swear in front of the DCs now sometimes, which we didn't do when they were little.

I have never heard DS1 swear, ever.

Well, it's always amusing when you are called to chat to your son's Y2 teacher because he's used the word "f*cking" in his written work. [sigh]

We took the route of calmly teaching them that they're Grow Up Words and Not Very Nice and that they shouldn't say them. They're not explicitly banned IYSWIM.

Hmmmm....

A friend of mine was getting really really arsey at a festival this year cos everyone was pissed and a bit sweary (not excessively, just normal adult conversation!) in front of her 4 year old son, and whilst I sort of sympathise, you can't really change that can you?

I do think people should mind their language around small children but it isn't something you can enforce on other people really. You will find that swearing filters down through friends with older siblings though so, no matter how careful you are around your children, they'll pick it up anyway.

At the end of the day, they are only words. That's why we've just reinforced the fact that they're grown up words etc.

Sounds sensible, Dragon. (quite amused at your child's use of the f word at school - perhaps he could be the next Irvine Welsh! All down to creative context... )

I think children swearing sounds awful and is wrong.

My dd is 15 and she knows not to swear in my company but I am sure she does with her friends.

I try not to swear on front of dc's but have been known to blurt out the odd expletive.So far ds(5) has not repeated any...thankfully.

Do you think that they are able to learn when not to swear from an early age? If you don't react to the words?

My children hear swearing at home (not constantly, but we all say those words sometimes,mainly when I've just burnt myself on the cooker!), they will hear it somewhere at least at home if they repeat it we can tell them it's a grown up word and they aren't to say it.

Yes, in the real world people do swear, but unlike adults children find it hard to differentiate between when things are and are not appropriate.

I also ban other words that I don't wish them to say (hate,stupid,thick,fart etc) because they are either crude or lazy, too many people, mainly adults if I'm honest, use words that are just pure laziness because they can't be bothered to express themselves in another way, so I actively encourage them to really think about the word they want to use and what it is they want to express.

My dd (4) frequently hears me and other adults we know swear - not just bloody either - but she doesn't tend to repeat it.
I have told her that certain words are Not Nice and that she shouldn't repeat them, and also that the rudest word in the world ever is letterbox. She takes that quite seriously.

I hate hearing small children swear, and watching Supernanny with all those sweet little 4-year-old mouths hurling foul words around makes me want to bury my head in a bucket and go back to the fuzzy-wuzzy world of Peter Wabbit and The Faraway Tree (ok, so Enid Blyton had a Dick and a Fanny....

Must say mine never did it and still don't, but then I'm quite old (50) and come from a time when it really wasn't normal to use the F word every other phrase as it seems to be now. Not judging, times move on and all that

I really don't want my kids to swear, but I'm not convinced I can stop myself. Hmmm...

not bad at all. i swear infront of mine all the time, as did my parents in front of me. somehow they, as I, have learnt that they must not do it, but that we can. it is something very important and cool for them to aspire to as adults!
seriously though, I'm not really sure it matters at all. obv you don't wnat your dc urning around saying 'fuck off you old bastard' or something, but ' o fuck' when they bump into something? no prob. except for other people's children - that is alwyas the prob. so i tell mine, its fine, don't do it with other people's children, or at school, as people are funny about it, and they just don't really seem to do it at all. except DS this morning when the cat has jumped up on his skeleton in the night and collapsed the whole thing, DS said to the cat ' you little fecker'
i thought it was quite endearing really.

I kind of see where she (LF) is coming from. I certainly swear in front of DS, not excessively, but under certain circumstances, and I don't swear at people, so don't call people bad names. My DS has been known to say the odd bgger or s*t in situations that warrant it but on the whole doesn't use these words much and seems to know not to use them when in the company of non-family members.

We did go through a phase of uttering 'oh buggeration and poo' when things went wrong, was quite funny. Now DS just prefers 'poo'

I don't think there is a need to ban words really, more important to concentrate on installing good morals in children so that they know it's not on to insult people or call them names. That's worse in my books than the occasional f*ck or bugger exclaimed when one is in pain or something....

My DS1's favourite word of the moment is "p1ss" which was acquired for his vast vocabulary whilst at school, and used at every opportunity.
If any rude utterances are made by adults at home, where yes we are human (daddy evidently more human than mummy when it comes to swearing) and naughty words happen in Dc's earshot, then it is usually explained at some stage that x word is not one that children should use, and explain that it was said because.... mummy dropped a glass/ daddy crashed the computer etc
DS's don't use these words, as they understand that they shouldn't - they come home from school with others, mainly worse. Including the 'F' one which has never been used at home. Stern explanations were given when that one came out.
I have to leave the final words of this post to DD aged 23mo, last week dropped her cup whilst in the back of granny's car - and articulately pronounced "dropped it. oh b%llocks".
Granny pretended to be deaf and mummy nearly died of mortification / silent laughing

Gigglewitch - that would have absolutey creased me up!