HELP - I Can't play

[Bogoozam]

Hi there

I am a 58 year old dad with three young kids (boy of 12, girls of 11 and 7 years old) and have recently split from mum and have the kids about half the time. They are lovely wonderful kiddies, and they keep me young.

My problem is that having been brought up by loving parents who had NO sense of fun at all, I find myself similarly not being game and fun-friendly. To make matters worse, their mum is the complete opposite, and is never-ending in her efforts to activate, entertain and generally keep the kids occupied. I have tried copying her, but it just ain't me unfortunately.

And now I have to keep them for an extended period - during lock down - and I am frankly at my wits end as to how to keep them entertained and - most importantly - away from the damned 'screens'.

Could anyone have some practical advice as to how I can either become more fun-loving (an impossible ask, I know) or otherwise find a way of almost faking being more fun-loving?

I REALLY want to make this work, so any help or advice would be most welcomed.

Many thanks...

What have you been doing with them for the last 12 years with them? You need to find something which is you. What hobbies and interests do you have?

Board games
Crafts
Baking/cooking
Treasure hunts
DIY projects

I think it’s much harder with a 12 year old because they are a bit beyond playing.

I am the same, I’m not a natural “player” either. I only have one child and he’s 3, so younger than yours, but what I try to do is play to my strengths. I find sitting playing on the floor absolutely tedious, but I don’t mind playing in the bath as there’s more to base the play around, if that makes sense, I.e. there is water and specific bath toys like boats, and this makes it easier.

Most of the time I leave the playing to my other half (who, like your ex loves it and can do it endlessly) and I’m the parent who does stories, takes him out on his scooter, bakes, does puzzles, goes to the park and so on.

You’re not a rubbish parent because you hate playing. Try to focus on what you do enjoy and start from there. Good luck!

Surely you have passed the crap make believe games
And endless occupying needed of preschoolers.
What do you enjoy? What do they enjoy ?

DH doesn't generally 'play' with our kids, but they have fun doing stuff. Yesterday he took Dd on a long walk and took pictures to post on social media with sickly sweet captions like 'Live, laugh, love'. Dd thinks it's hilarious. Taking the mick out of sentimentality is their 'thing'. Today, he's taken DS to get some woodworking tools because he's shown an interest in building a table out of the remnants of an old bed.

Your youngest will need to be read to and set up with some toys/activities he likes, but the older ones don't need constant attention or occupation. Involve them in what you're doing and let them inspire your activities, but don't be afraid of screens. Kids don't want a maniacal adult controlling every minute of their day.