Sibling jealousy

[sarahc336]

Dd1 is almost 4 and dd2 is now 11 weeks, dd1 is really struggling with being jealous and I'm finding it hard to cope with, how long does this phase last? 🤯
Dd1 doesn't really acknowledge dd2 which I find strange, if I'm talking to dd2 I can feel her watching/glaring at me so this makes me feel guilty for spending time with my baby. She'll try and get in between us, she's tried pushing dd2 off my partners knee etc snd her general behaviour has really worsened, she talks back now and won't have no said to her. I know some of this is probably due to being busy with the baby so I've probably let things slip and she's probably got away with more. Lock down doesn't help either I know as I can't get her out and about like we used to, we can only really go for a walk.
I've tried involving her with the baby but she's not really interested. Spending 1-1 time with her almost makes it worse as inthink she then expects it all the time, it also feels a bit split up like in with dd1 and my partners with dd2 so it's not a whole family unit. I'm hoping it'll pass but just wondering when it gets better? in at my wits end 😩 xx

You need a routine when it comes to 1-2-1 time and as the little one is almost 3 months old there should now be a more regular pattern of naps and feeds. If not then try and develop a routine. It also really helps if both of you aren’t cooing over the baby at the same time & when one of you has the little one the other parent is 100% present with the older child.

Eventually as she gets more positive attention the attention seeking behaviour will stop

Definitely lots of positive attention and try ignore the negative behaviour completely as they seek out all attention that young.

Also don't worry about spending time as family unit. Having separate 1 on 1 time with both parents is far more valuable at this stage than all 4 of you doing anything. As baby grows up and interacts more, you will naturally do more things together

Agree with routine comment so she expects time with you when baby is napping got example. I used to make a point of reading to my one when breastfeeding baby so she had my attention to (admittedly different age gap) but perhaps if there is a certain time that she knows she will have your undivided attention, it will help