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9 yr old depression or something else

3 replies

janddp · 02/02/2021 19:33

Hi,
My 9 yr old has been a very cautious, shy, wary kid since birth - really, even in baby groups. She is our oldest child and generally anxious. She does well in school academically but has never been comfortable making friends.

She has recently developed school phobia and screams every night and every morning about how much she hates school and doesn't want to leave me and wants to stay home. She begs for days off but I continue to send her. There is no active bullying, but there a few kids involved in more mature activities than what she is used to and she feels VERY uncomfortable with that "bad stuff", and complains that kids are just texting each other and talking about "killing video games" and etc. I have raised her to be very thoughtful about toys and games that promote killing, objectification of women etc. but now she's really gone off the deep end about them. (And I'm starting to wish I'd just given her all the LOL dolls she could handle!)

I wonder if this is about a social deficit that is making her unable to get along with peers as their social interactions become a little more sophisticated. My husband wonders about autism, but she really doesn't meet the criteria. She is just so wary of other kids and getting involved in anything that could be unkind or inappropriate. Basically, she is VERY socially anxious. There are a couple of snotty girls at school, but they don't seem to target her much, I think because she just sticks to herself. My heart breaks to see her get so upset every morning and my nerves are frayed. Any thoughts?? We are seeing a counsellor, but not much help yet. It is hard to see her so constantly miserable.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
HedWrek · 02/02/2021 19:37

Poor girl struggling so much. It sounds more like anxiety rather than depression.

Might be worth checking if you have any Tier 2 Mental Health Services in your area.

I'd also suggest looking at Cathy Creswell's book on 'Overcoming fears and worries' which is aimed at parents of Primary aged children which might help you to support her.

CookEatRepeat · 02/02/2021 19:39

Does her school have ELSA support? Ask the SENCo for advice and help ASAP.

HattyHat · 02/02/2021 19:50

Op, It's worth looking into an autism assessment. In the meantime look for CBT book for kids on Amazon. It must be so hard for you and your dd. Do you have any pets?

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