Considering abortion... please help

[Bittersweet12]

Please no one judge me, don't respond with hate it's really the last thing I need.

So last year I had my DD in may. Whilst I was planning more children in the future I didn't think this soon! After a silly one night (yes I know my mistake) I've managed to fall pregnant again. And I'm so torn what to do.

I know time and time again people say you will love your second just as much as your first, that was a worry to me before this happened just imagining loving another child, but now I'm pregnant that's not so much a worry. I just worry how I would cope, wonder if this is really what I want now!

My DD is so hands on, whilst I'm aware she will probably be a lot more independent by the time a second baby would come along I just don't know if I would even want to cope with that!
She wouldn't be talking, she's not the best sleeper I couldn't imagine her being upset though the night and tending to a new born at the same time.

Whilst my partner will help out he works a lot and so most things will be left to me, and I just really don't know if I want to deal with that! I can just about cope with my DD now. The thought of adding another fills be with fear rather than excitement... but I don't know if I could go ahead with termination either, does anyone have any advice or experiences they could share? Thank you

What would age gap be of you did carry on with the pregnancy? Could you manage financial with two so close together in age?

I have 2 children and I’m done with having babies. I’m 99% sure I would terminate if I was to get pregnant again but I don’t personally know what I would do in your shoes. Conceiving DD2 took us a long time.

If you had to make an immediate decision what would it be? You may need to go with your gut in this one. It sounds from your message that a termination will be the right choice for you.

@Thatwentbadly the age gap would be 1.4 years, so close in age!
I think financially we would just about cope, may be a struggle but i think we would just abouts.
My mind is all over not sure what to think right now

A friend of mine aborted a pregnancy when her first was 6m and as far as she's told me has zero regrets.

Oh god, I feel awful for you. What does your partner think? Does he know how you are feeling?
All babies are different and the next one could sleep through the night from 3 months and be no trouble what so ever (I have a unicorn baby, they really do exist).
If you mention your feelings to your gp they should be able to put you in touch with an abortion counsellor pretty quickly and may even demand that you have an appointment before they sign their agreement for the procedure. That could be really valuable to you.
I wish you well OP, big hugs x

First of all sending big hugs, I was in the same boat last year, I fell pregnant when my daughter was 4 months and it just wasn't the right time for us, i was a couple of weeks pregnant and had an abortion, I have no regrets, but its very personal to each person, just do whats right for you and your family xx

@Justriseaboveitkiddo

Oh god, I feel awful for you. What does your partner think? Does he know how you are feeling? All babies are different and the next one could sleep through the night from 3 months and be no trouble what so ever (I have a unicorn baby, they really do exist). If you mention your feelings to your gp they should be able to put you in touch with an abortion counsellor pretty quickly and may even demand that you have an appointment before they sign their agreement for the procedure. That could be really valuable to you. I wish you well OP, big hugs x

Yes my partner is really supportive he is kind of in the same situation feeling wise, as he feels very mixed as well, but he has said he will support me no matter what I choose to do but that makes in hard as he's split to and wished maybe he would feel one way or another which might impact how I feel about things x

@Aimzxo

First of all sending big hugs, I was in the same boat last year, I fell pregnant when my daughter was 4 months and it just wasn't the right time for us, i was a couple of weeks pregnant and had an abortion, I have no regrets, but its very personal to each person, just do whats right for you and your family xx

Thank you for sharing, I'm just worried if that was the path I chose to take I would regret it I don't know it's so confusing x

Are you thinking you probably don’t want to have a second child at all? If you’re still thinking you want two children then I would just go for it and have the baby.You’re right there might be some tough times but as someone who had two close together it’s really paid off now as they’re so close in age and I’ve passed all the baby age stuff together. There is no guarantee having a bigger age gap will make things easier (I have friends with 4yr olds who became very difficult when baby arrived etc) so I would just embrace the situation you’re going in

My friend has 2 kids,they’re 14 months apart but planned.
There are positives and negatives like all age gaps.
Like the above poster said,if you are planning 2 anyway then perhaps continue if you think you can.
I appreciate it’s not what you had planned though.

I had an abortion 3 months after my first, I just wasn't ready to have another yet. It wasn't a nice experience but I had no regret and knew I did the right thing.

5 years later I had my second and it was the perfect time I knew I was ready and I was so excited.

I'm not saying what I did was the right thing and I have no doubt you would manage with 2 children and of course love the new baby with all of your heart but the decision is yours and you've got to
Do whats right, sending big love :-)

So is your one night stand your partner??