What is your bed time routine?

[PollyPocket245]

Hi all,
Bedtimes with my five month old are getting more chaotic by the day! I can’t help feeling I’m doing something wrong. I aim for an 8pm bedtime but she just gets more hyper the more I try to calm her. What are your bedtime routines? How long do they last? Where do you do them? Thank you!

At 5 months she crashed out on one of us when she was tired and stayed downstairs till we all went to bed together. She got a routine down the line and we followed her patterns which worked well for us.

We try and get our 5 month old down between 7-7.30pm, we take to bedroom which is dimmed light, change nappy, put on baby lotion, PJ's, bottle, read a story and then kiss goodnight. We leave the room pitch black with white noise on and she will most of the time fall asleep.

At 5 months we didnt have a routine, just let him fall asleep when he wanted, at 6 months we found it easier to do bath, book then feed to sleep about 8ish and still a similar routine now at 16 months but with bedtime at 730

Almost replied as if you had a 5 year old the. Realised you said 5 months!
I had no routine for my kids at that age. When I tried to get one it would change so frequently due to their continued quick development.

I think the usual bath book bed routine are good at that age, as well as doing bedtime in a dim bedroom to get them used to that as a space for sleep.

but I wouldn’t strive for exact bed times so early.

What do you mean by hyperactive?

All I had heard was from four months I needed to try and establish a bedtime routine... it’s already changed so much since then keeping up has been exhausting and a bit of a battle.
@AIMD thank you, that’s a sigh of relief. By hyperactive I mean she starts practicing noises she’s learned which unfortunately is a high pitched scream and trying to roll and wriggle. It gets worse to the point she resists her bottle, dummy, being rocked... basically anything that makes her sleep

Who told you that OP? At that age, in fact still, she sleeps in our room and had all sleep and naps in the same room as us following the guidelines and it’s just about getting through the day with everyone as happy as possible so if a routine isn’t working for you then chuck the idea in the bin and follow your instincts and whatever works for your baby. You know her best!

I’d also say that avoid battles however you can. I resolved early on to make food and sleep as stress and conflict free as possible and it’s worked by following what works for my daughter. You can read all the books, follow all the advice online, listen to friends, HVs and experts all you like and then realise your baby didn’t read or listen to any of it

@AnneLovesGilbert

At 5 months she crashed out on one of us when she was tired and stayed downstairs till we all went to bed together. She got a routine down the line and we followed her patterns which worked well for us.

Same here. I can't say I ever thought in terms of routine with mine. Everybody else did of course, or said they did :-). I didn't care anyway, we were happy.

@AnneLovesGilbert oh she sleeps with me don’t worry :). she will still only sleep on me or my partner which limits us but I’m happy if that’s what she needs. Gently trying to transition her to sleep in her next to you crib. I think I read on a different forum they should have a routine , oh well I give up! I though because my routine was just some books and sleep was getting worse I was doing something wrong

What's her last "awake" time (how many hours)? Is she not too tired?

We also had no routine till about 6m or a bit more with weaning and properly only from when LO decided he'll no longer BF at night, then during the day and he switched to bottles.

Then it became bath - cream (if I feel like it) - nappy and bottle (which makes him giggle like a maniac, apparently a bottle of milk is the best thing ever) and then he goes to his cot with his blanket, white noise and bottle and dummy and then we sat there and patted shusshed moved pleaded prayed and all with him to please go to sleeeeeep.

He's getting better (15m) but still not like "good night, bye" and off to my tea and MN I go (I wish!).

You’re doing brilliantly! You haven’t done anything wrong other than beating yourself up, I promise!

Is she napping well in the day? Do you think if you kept her up later till she crashes you’d get yourself out of a “should” mentality and into a “what will be will be” one?

She’ll find her own routine when she’s ready, she really will. Are you putting her in her cot once she’s asleep?

It’s so easy to assume you’ve done something wrong or what worked is suddenly broken but it’s not you and she’s just being a baby, things change by the day when they’re so little. Think about what’s going on in her little head while she’s getting to know the world around her and learning and growing constantly. You’re her safe place, her anchor and her home. It’s exhausting at times but it sounds like she’s normal and wonderful and you’re doing everything you can to cherish her and meet her needs.

Have a look into wake windows and the wake maintenance zone.

I found with my little one she has a slightly different bedtime every day and it depends on lots of different things but once she’s manic from overtiredness it’s better off to stop trying to force her to sleep for a bit and try again in half an hour.

I've had a routine for my ds since he was about 4 months, he's now 7 months.

We do upstairs, clothes off and little chat on the changing mat, bath, teeth brush (in the bath so much easier😂), dry and cream on changing mat, pjs and grobag on, then move to my room as he still sleeps in there, bottle and into next to me. He goes down great, the rest of the night is questionable! He's not the best sleeper, but getting him to sleep is good!

I think it's great to have a routine from early on as he knows exactly what's happening when we go upstairs in the evening and gets so excited for his bath 😊

I'd love to be able to bring in a book to the routine but as he isn't the best napper he's usually so tired by the evening that he just doesn't enjoy anything apart from bath, milk and bed!

Sounds like my baby when she’s over tired! We do milk and baby rice, bath, dress for bed, maybe a book then rest of the milk and bed about 7ish depending on when she woke from last nap. I try to do about 2 hours awake time but if she’s tired we go with it. She sleeps in our room still and is in there alone from 7pm until we go to be bed but with camera on and we live in a flat

Oh there's a lot of should stuff surrounding sleep but i think it's all made up, introduce a routine when it helps, not because some one or something tells you to. It would have been less stressful for us if we hadn't read all that stuff, the biggest lie is the whole "put them down drowsy but awake" it just doesn't work and you'll feel like a failure

They only thing we do is nothing basically. I think long winded bedtimes drag on and can make it worse

Bath is always done earlier in day or morning when he has one. (Ds is 9months)

We don’t do stories at bedtime yet either.

So we aim for 8pm bedtime, but he goes any time 7-8.30pm depending on how tired he seems and how day naps were.

Upstairs, nappy changed and into sleepsuit and sleeping bag. Into our room, lights on dim. I feed him. He then gets put into cot awake with his comforter toy and falls asleep in 2-10 mins whilst I just lay on bed with phone.
At 5 months he would fall asleep feeding still probably 75% of the time, that just gradually decreased until now when it’s rare he falls asleep feeding

That’s great, thank you so much everyone. I’ve been taking more of a back seat with her routine. I’m doing certain things like bath and picture book if we can/feel like it. Her sleep is so varied from 7:30-10 but is resisting her naps a lot in the day so I think it’s having a knock on effect. The HV is coming today so thankfully I can ask her what I can do. Great advice I’ve stopped reading articles!