DD (9) Just kicked me so hard on my shin it has left a mark

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Trying to get her to log in to her Maths zoom lesson. She screamed at me and kicked me exceptionally hard with boots on. I am shaking with anger and pain. I have left her to do her maths lesson alone (usually supervise). This is a red line for me. it is written in our house rules and on our house whiteboard (I left her DF for breaking my jaw). What can I do to convey to her how unacceptable this is?

Definitely a punishment for this. I wouldn't accept being physically attacked by my children. Assuming she has no SN?

At 9 I’m sure she knows. My 9 & 10 year old know they don’t strike another person. Well if you have ‘house rules’ then what are your house punishments. I think possibly seeing your reaction will have made her think.
I’d take her boots off her make sure she’s not wearing them indoors also. Could be if she’s seen violence via her dad she thinks that’s acceptable?

My dad was physically abusive also to my mum and myself and my sister. It’s hard to switch off what you see/hear and experience as a child. Totally get that you must be raging and upset but leave her on her own for a bit go calm down and try and think of her punishment then go and talk to her rationally - is school work that stressful that it’s causing her this behaviour or is this flying off the handle the norm for her & she’s taken it a step further today. Who’d have kids eh!!! 😳 I have 4 so been through all sorts and still am as youngest is sen and he pushes my buttons daily, how I stay calm I don’t know!!. Take care op & hope you can sort things with your daughter and move forward

Nope, no SN.

I am absolutely fuming. I do not (and never have) use physical punishment on my DC. I can not believe she thinks this is acceptable. He older brothers don't do this. I can't even look or talk to her as i will say something I regret. I have put her (new for christmas) ipad away and she will not be getting it back.

Presumably she does know this is totally unacceptable if it is one of your firm house rules. Obviously she needs to have some consequences for the way she behaved, but I would be more worried about what it was that made her so angry and frustrated that she lost control and lashed out like that. Once the consequence has been set, perhaps a snuggle up on the sofa with her to chat about how she is feeling and what triggered it? it's a hard time for everyone at the moment, especially when you don't have the emotional maturity to analyse and control your feelings.

Never giving her it back seems severe, will she never get it back? Punishments should be measurable so say take it away for a month - if you remove all her stuff you give yourself nothing to take away if she ever misbehaves again. With my son depending on the punishment I switch his internet off to start then remove iPad etc but for a week or 2 weeks max.

I think finding out why she did this, what made her so angry is a good idea, I wasn’t suggesting you were violent but you did mention her father broke your jaw so has she seen or heard violence. that’s not an excuse for her actions. But getting to the bottom of it and making her understand why it’s unacceptable is important.

Punishment then move on making sure she understands your boundaries and rules and the consequences of her actions. My eldest son would lash out middle 2 never did but youngest is strong no 2 kids are the same don’t compare to your older kids.