Breastfeeding weight gain. Impossible to lose

[peetieswie]

Hi

My baby is nearly seven months and I am finding it impossible to lose weight while breastfeeding. I've never been bigger than a size 10 and I'm currently a size 16. At first I was eating takeaway and cake as I assumed breastfeeding meant I could eat what I want and lose weight. However for months now I've been having no sugar, no alcohol, no processed food and I've been exercising more than I ever have before and I can't lose anything at all. It's really getting me down as I don't feel like myself at all and feel so sad when I see myself. However, I really fought through a tongue tie and thrush to breastfeed and I feel sad at the idea of giving up.

I guess what I'm asking is, when will my baby start cutting down feeds to the point I won't feel bad about giving up, or is there anyone who went through a similar experience and what did you do?

I went back down to a size 8 using slimming world when I was breastfeeding from about a 12, it took me a while as I was (still am) constantly hungry! I know everyone is different but I would put weight on eating 1800 calories a day and I'm 5"6. Your diet sounds better than mine though! How active are you? I exercised a lot when I was losing weight and at the moment I find exercise virtually impossible so maybe thats part of it?

I lost nothing from my 6 week check (first time I was weighed) til I stopped bf due to a mix of biting and me returning to work at about 6m. Then it gradually went without trying.

I'm using my fitness pal and probably overestimating how many calories I'm having but generally around 1600. I can't physically eat fewer as I'm already waking up hungry in the night. Normally I can get away with quite a bit and maintain size 10 but I'm literally having nothing bad at the moment. I really think if I added in vegan cheese or carbs I'd put on weight!

I think like some are saying it's a genetic thing and I won't lose the weight till I stop feeding. It's just, how long can I go on looking like this? My baby loves breastfeeding though.

All these comments giving me advice to eat even less or do things that I'm already doing is confirming to me that people will look at me and thinking I'm doing something wrong and not trying to lose the weight at all, which really isn't the case.

@peetieswie I completely sympathise. My DD is 6 months and I feel massive - I’m actually only 5kg over my pre pregnancy weight but I’ve never been this big before. Lost all of the weight starlight after birth then put 5kg on in 4 weeks! Now can’t shift it. I’m not really dieting at the mo but planning to start next week.

My menu is as follows - as I said this is not a diet!
Breakfast-Weetabix and raisins, oat milk
Lunch-1 piece of toast and 2 eggs, sometimes smoked salmon or avocado
Snack - Rice cracker and peanut butter, or small pork pie, or small piece fruit cake
Dinner - meat and vegetable traybake or mash, usually a large portion
Chocolate bar desert.

However I do a 6km walk every day and 20 mins of yoga so I’m quite active

I think you should have more protein to stop you being hungry, no point being miserable!. I totally get what you mean tho and I feel a bit sad all of my mum friends that formula fed lost their weight really quickly and also seemed to bounce back quicker

How confident are you of your calorie intake? Are you really tracking it, weighing food, etc? Most people massively underestimate unless weighing everything properly.

At 5ft 3 I would expect to need far fewer calories than 1800 to lose weight. Roughly speaking you need a deficit of 500 per day to lose a lb a week. I’d be surprised if you’re burning 2300 with that activity level. I’m 5ft 6 and often wasn’t doing 2300 calories a day when I was walking 2hrs of school run plus an hour’s workout as a minimum.

I also think the calorie burn of BF drops off after a while. It takes far more energy to build up a supply rather than maintain.

I really would recommend getting a smart watch that can track your calorie level. I’ve got a Fitbit and you can log your food in take as well. It really helped me shift a few lbs when DC2 was about 5 months.

I agree with a PP to have your thyroid checked. Pregnancy completely messed mine up and I’ve been on medication since it was detected.

No advice on weight loss, I was lucky in that respect with bf. I just felt knackered all the time due to the (then undetected) thyroid issue!

Don't mean to scare you but I was in this boat. Was ridiculously skinny before DC1. Around size 6-8. Put on loads during pg. lost a bit at delivery, but gained loads more during bf. I thought I'd lose it easily since I'd always struggled to keep the fat on. But I just couldn't. I lost a fair bit when I stopped bf but I'd gone up to a size 12. Never could lose it. Same story after DC2. Now I am a size 14-16. It's like each pregnancy & breastfeeding stretch slowed down my metabolism drastically. Now I struggle to lose weight! Perhaps this was all compounded by the fact that I had my first at 29 and second at 37 so I was already on the slippery slope of declining metabolism!

Oh and I stopped BF DC2 by 10 months in the hope that I'd lose the weight. But I lost only a bit. And I feel a bit sad about it when I think I could've gone on for longer. Please don't quit due to the weight. Not unless you feel 'ready' to stop.

I understand how you feel - I have a 5 month old and am finding it so hard to lose weight! I hate being this size and not fitting into any of my clothes. But breastfeeding is really important to me and I won't give it up until we're both ready.

Try not to be too hard on yourself! It sounds like you're doing everything right and it would be a shame to stop feeding if you're both getting something out of it - also, if it's not the breastfeeding that's the problem, would you feel bad about giving it up now? If so then definitely don't do that! Also, you seem to be very fixated on what other people think - who cares if some random thinks you haven't made an effort? Fuck them!

Thanks teentitan. That's what I wanted, to hear from people with similar experiences. Please stop telling me to eat less everyone else. I know what I'm eating and I know it's very healthy. I also know my body was a size 10 when I was eating way more. Obviously its not sustainable to carry on this way of eating, never having anything sweet, barely any carbs, no alcohol and doing a hiit work out and two hours walk most days... I'll go insane.

I think I'll give it a bit longer breastfeeding and dieting and see if anything happens. Just dropping a dress size would make me feel much better. I don't think I'll make it to a year if the weight doesn't come off at all though as I'll be so self conscious going back to work like this.

Thanks nowisthemonthofmaying. You are right. To be honest I would rather lose the weight for me and how I feel than other people, but point taken, if I know I will get there it doesn't really matter what others think.

I was the same. With both kids they got to just over a year old before I lost weight. But then it just came off naturally, without me eating any less.

I'm in the same boat OP! My diet went a bit bananas after having my little one, and I've finally started eating well again after 9 months of stress eating. No results yet and I am always hungry!

Are you a runner at all? Running is the best way for me to lose weight. Might be worth switching up the exercise if you seem to be in a rut?

But also, be kind to yourself. You had a baby only a short while ago. The weight WILL come off eventually!

I understand why you're annoyed at not losing weight OP, but you've got some weird attitudes equating fatness with being lazy and shameful.

I definitely felt like breastfeeding slowed my weight loss. I’m on baby 3 and after each the weight came off slowly but surely. Still breastfeeding and third baby is nearly 14 months. This time the weight cake off quicker. Second time it took the longest to come off. But I also gained a ton w each pregnancy so takes a while to lose that (23kge plus!). And I’m back to my normal size of 8/10

I have no idea what I ate while breastfeeding. I remember I was very active. I was hungry all the time and about 2 stones over my pre-pregnancy weight. I’d always been average weight previously.

Stopped BF around 13 months and - I kid you not- the weight dropped off. I am quite sure my activity levels and eating habits did not change significantly. I think there’s something in the theory that your body retains the weight to keep the milk supply.

Similar boat here too! Baby 6 months and I’m the exact same weight I was leaving hospital! Lost a few pounds being extremely strict pre Christmas (1400 Cal’s) a day but put on again with normal eating over Christmas!
I also ebf my first child and only lost weight once I stopped breastfeeding at 6 mths( stopped for other reasons) but was still until baby was 18mths-2 before I was back to previous weight. This time bf going easier so I don’t want to stop but I dread the thought of going back to work ( v public facing role) at this size snd like you feel judged.
I am going to try to cut back again for next month or two to see what happens/ hard when we are in lockdown and no joy to be found apart from the odd takeaway/ glass of wine!

In my experience (I’m still BF my 4th) woman either lose masses of weight BF and can hardly keep up the eating to maintain their weight, and others can’t lose it for love nor money. Their body just holds onto it at all costs. Sadly I’m in the latter group, but it is worth it. I’ve tried not to worry about my weight until the baby is 1 year but I also had a food refuser and exclusively BF her for 18 months. It was beyond exhausting and my body held onto all my fat reserves!

Op I was the same, I found it literally impossible to lose weight while I was breastfeeding.

When I went back to work and DS was on cows milk the weight started to come off slowly (even though I was eating more) and even more came off once he was completely weaned.

Yes, majority women won’t lose the last stone or so of baby weight until they stop breastfeeding. A minority will hold on to more baby weight. Sounds like you are in the unlucky minority.

I agree your 1600 calories is good, but I worry you may not be getting enough protein or calcium in your diet. Part of what makes us our “size” is our mass not just density (weight). Muscle takes up less space than fatty tissue. Bones can lose density if you are calcium deficient through breastfeeding and poor diet. You could be replacing muscle with fatty tissue and more porous bones, and thus why you are still same mass of a size 16.

So you should aim for protein and calcium in every meal. It will also help with the hunger you are feeling. Some gentle weight bearing exercises like yoga would be good as well to tone your muscles.

17 Best Protein Sources Vegan:
www.healthline.com/nutrition/protein-for-vegans-vegetarians#TOC_TITLE_HDR_2

10 Top Calcium Sources Vegan:
www.healthline.com/nutrition/vegan-calcium-sources

Best wishes.

Thanks those of you who confirmed this is pretty normal. Does make me feel better that it isn't just me and also that it should come off after I stop breastfeeding.

I am changing up my meals a fair bit (had minfulchef delivered for a few weeks at the beginning of Jan) so am getting a fair bit of tofu, soy and beans so hopefully I'm covering the food groups there. I've just cut out processed food, any cakes or biscuits and most of my carbs. Oh and alcohol. Could really use a glass of wine tho.

Think ill commit to breastfeeding till she's nine months and then reassess, but maybe ease up my diet a little bit now and then as lockdown and having a baby is hard enough.

That sounds like a good plan! And well done on all your hard work... I wish I had your willpower!

@wudgy sounds very similar. Guess we'll just have to grin and bear it. Just hard when you don't want to spend a tonne on bigger clothes!