Help with DD

[Nostrings457]

7 year old DD. Always had a temper but currently it has escalated beyond belief. Spoiling every evening, shouting at me when she doesnt get her way. Her attitude is something of a teenager. The following day she apologises with encouragement but there is no substance behind it. DD5 and DS3 are no angels.
I have reflected on my parenting - I need to be less shouty but just dont know what else to do. Have tried a rewards chart & it lasts a few days then there are arguments over the validity of who got what stars. Its causing a bad atmosphere between me and DH - we've had a shocking evening with her behaviour and i just need some advice.

You have my sympathy as my DD who is older can be a bit challenging.

Definitely try to be less shouty, usually it just ends up in them shouting. Easier said than done though I know.

What sorts of things are you getting upset over?

@JiltedJohnsJulie the way she speaks which leads to a horroble atmosphere, gettingbsentbto her bedroom. She repeatedly wobtbdo as shes told and its mentally / physically draining after a day at work. I want to come home to cuddles, tea and stories at bedtime but couldn't be any further away from that

Interested in this thread
My child gets very angry too
Same age
Although I stay calm cos I know shouting encourages even more of an argument with her
But the horrible behaviour and attitude keeps going
I know she needs help to get it all in check but I'm so drained and don't find her enjoyable

I have one dc with a lot of anger (I blame the mother as I was the same as a child). One parenting course I attended talked about filling emotional tanks, and I definitely find he behaves better if we have LOTS of physical contact, hugs etc, especially at the start of the day. He is anxious and this comes out as temper and control. All kids are different, but it’s worth looking at root causes if you can.

Also some books on emotions, how to label and talk about them, have helped.

Things are improving gradually (he’s 8).

I so wish my child was like that with the cuddling etc
I can do so much with that
But she pulls away from all that. She's not a huggy person
Which I do find a bit upsetting if I'm honest but I've got to accept that

I don't find you get a lot of replies on this section though 😞
Which is disappointing as behaviour problems are where you could do with advice

Is she getting enough exercise/ fresh air during the afternoon?