How often do you play with your children?

[crazymicrowave123]

I feel extremely guilty that I don't play with my son as much as I should. He's 15 months old and goes to nursery 3 days a week from 8:30am-5:30pm whilst I am at work. I work full time 5 days a week including Saturdays so I'm usually quite burnt out by the time I get home.

I usually get home around 6:30 after picking up my son from nursery which gives me just enough time to give my son a bath, feed him, read him a book and put him to bed. By then I'm exhausted and I get about an hour and half to myself before I have to go to bed to wake up early in the morning.

On my one day off a week with him, I play with him for about half an hour in the morning (proper play one carpet with toys) and then during his nap(s) read or have a bit of relaxation time. I try to take him outside to the park at least once a day (sometimes twice depending on if I need to go shopping) and I also read to him occasionally throughout the day.

Other than that, I tend to let him play alone with all of his toys whilst supervising in the room (usually reading a book or doing chores, TV is rarely on) or I play nursery rhymes and we sing together and dance. Or we play together and I throw him on the bed (he loves that).

I just feel like such a bad mother but its hard because the 2 days he is with his father I am working full time so only get a small window in the evening to myself so I can tend to be too exhausted to play with my son for hours on end on my one full day off. Is this enough?

proper play on carpet with toys I must correct*, I must add that I am single and don't have many friends around me, so I try to exercise a lot even if my son is just playing around me, early in the mornings before I go to work. It can get very lonely and boring playing with toys all day with my son even though I try as much as possible. My sons father has a gf and spends less time with our son, so I feel he's able to make it more action packed as he is in a better position to do so which also makes me feel guilty that our son might eventually be happier at his dads :(

I don't actively play that much with toys in that way. I'm always there and talking to them, but actively on the floor playing isnt that often. If i do, it's where i'm needed, so to help build a rail track, or to work together to build something or to play a game. We might do some dancing and singing, or little chores together. But if it's just them and their toys that theyre playing with then I think it's good to let them explore without me getting involved all the time.

Some parents worry no matter what they do, I'm sure you are doing fine.

So you get 2 days off a week with him, have I understood that correct, the 5 days include the Saturday?

And you Ex had him 2 days a week you are working, are they nursery days so ex only has him in the evening or is he at nursery 3 days then at dads for 2 days.

He will fine on his nursery days playing away with all the toys.
If dad does stuff with him that's good.

Singing and dancing and nursery rhymes sounds brilliant, but don't beat yourself up over it, dime things can't be helped and the time you have to sound with him is one of those things, you are a great mum by providing for him. Maybe it's sorting out your time so it feels like more with him maybe
On your 2 days off, Could you maybe dedicate block times to him, so you play on the mat with him for 20 mins, then do your exercise for an hour, then play doh for 20mins, then throw the washing in, do baking then clean the kitchen, that type of thing.

You are most definitely a bad mum because you can tell how much you care.

@Tigger001 My son is with me from Sunday morning until Thursday nights when I take him to his dads. I have Thursdays off from work but leave my house to drop my son an hour away at his dads at 8pm. I work on Saturdays so I get Friday evenings, Saturday evenings and Sunday mornings to myself. Which doesn't work out as much but is better than nothing. Feel quite lonely during lockdown but make the best of it :(

I have 1 weekday a week with just me and DD (16 months), we play pretty much all day or go out and about (park etc). It’s our day, so it revolves around her. I avoid doing chores although it often includes supermarket etc.

The other 4 weekdays she is in nursery all day so we don’t play at all, but she gets about an hour after nursery to play with DH as he collects her and finishes work earlier than me.

Weekends we share, so she is playing or out with one of us most of the day. But it includes chores too.

I have practically zero time to myself - just Saturday mornings when I ride. I’d love time to exercise @crazymicrowave123

I do get DD involved in chores though - she “helps” me put things away, do laundry etc. so it’s not all active play with toys but time together learning. Which I think is invaluable

I have Thursdays off from work but leave my house to drop my son an hour away at his dads at 8pm.

So you have all Thursday with him, dropping him at 8pm would be about bedtime anyway.
Make that day as fun as possible, if he wants you to play on the mat, play on the Mat for 20 mins ?! at that age it's not like they concentrate for hours.
Then do a little chore then play with him, he will want that interaction with you and you should make time for it.

get Friday evenings, Saturday evenings and Sunday mornings to mysel

And you get Sunday afternoon with him. And surely he is in bed the other evenings for you to do exercise and a couple of quick chores, if you want to free the time up to spend with him.

I wouldn't bath him every night either, if you only get in at 18.30 bath him Sunday ( when you have him all day) then Tuesday and Friday ) get dad to do it one night.

Does he have tea at nursery if it's that time pick up, so you just need to give him supper. Play when he gets in then PJ, teeth, supper, book, teeth bed.

I would just try and make it fun for him the time you do have to spend with him.

I do get DD involved in chores though - she “helps” me put things away, do laundry etc. so it’s not all active play with toys but time together learning. Which I think is invaluable 

I agree with this 100% get them helping "polish" with a cloth, gather certain colour clothes for Laundry my DS used to do all kinds at that age and still does now.

Well you can't do much about the nursery days and we are the same. He gets home at 6pm and I play for thirty mins then bath milk and bed. I have Friday off with him and we pretty much play ALL DAY! Haha it's good fun. I used to spend so much time on my phone whilst he wanted to play. I guess I just wanted to relax. But now for a while I just put my phone upstairs and spend the whole time devoted to him and we both love it.
Then Saturday and Sundays well, me and my husband do spend a good chunk playing tbh. If something needs some housewiae then one of us does that and the other plays. :)

But op you sound really sad and I think a big part of that is that your whole life just sound like work, baby care, work baby care with a little bit of exercise thrown in. I imagine lockdown isn't helping at all.
I feel for you, it just be really hard just doing this majority of care on your own. Have you got family that can help out occasionally?
Your days/playing sounds fine but I'd maybe increase the 30mins you do on the carpet to at least an hour and then that's a good chunk of time he has with you playing. :) I hope you are ok