Baby will only nap on me

[Melbs6]

My baby is almost 5 months old and recently he’s only been able to nap on me. If I try to put him down he’ll wake straight away and then be in a terrible mood for the rest of the day. As much as I love the cuddles, I need to shower, clean the house, have lunch etc. so it would be good if I could put him in his Moses basket or cot for his naps. He’s fine when I put him to sleep for the night in his next to me.

Is this just a phase? In which case I’ll just ride it out. Or do I need to teach him that he should be napping in his cot?

You need to teach him at this stage I think. My dd only slept on me or her dad for about the first four months, usually in the sling, but enough was enough after that.

I started putting her down in her cot, the 'drowsy but awake' thing. At first she was wide awake again immediately or would nod off for five minutes and then wake, it was incredibly frustrating and I was tearing my hair out. But I persevered and one day she just stayed asleep for 20 minutes, and then an hour, and then she was a brilliant napper and has been ever since.

They won't learn to nap alone if they never do it, so you need to start putting him down. The shush pat is good or at that age a little comforter or dummy? But it's worth persevering because you get your own time back. Well, I didn't, because I've got two other children, but you get the idea!

My baby hates being put down but if I need to get stuff done I chuck her in the carrier and crack on. Your little one must nearly be big enough to do a back carry? I can do hoovering, cooking etc with her in the carrier which makes life much easier. She’ll nap in there when she wants.

I have a 5 month old and have the same issue. However, until about 2 weeks ago, she would only nap being constantly bounced in the sling so being able to sit down is a massive relief. I know I need to work on putting her down but she's wide awake as soon as I try. Then she gets overtired and it messes with nighttime sleep.

Good luck op... I hope we both get there in the end xx

You are not alone. Ours wouldn’t not allow us to put her down at all. We gave her all the comfort she could possibly want. We controlled cried her very strictly Hoping she would learn to sooth herself. Nothing worked. Some babies are just like that.

Eleven month old baby and he’s still the same 🙃 but he sleeps beautifully at night so hey ho

I’m following though. I’d love to have an hour to myself during the day 😂

Thanks everyone. I’m going to try and teach him to nap in his own cot, although right now he’s napping on me and I have nothing to do so I’m just enjoying the cuddles which are the best 🥰 I’ve just realised that I’m probably the problem here aren’t I?! 😂

To add a different perspective - if you are enjoying it is it really a problem?
I never felt the need to "teach" my baby to sleep in his cot - also he just screamed immediately when I did put him down so my instincts are that he just wasn't ready.

I'm not saying it's wrong to try if you want to, and maybe your baby is more ready than mine- just that you don't have to- I think it's a societal expectation.
I always showered and did cleaning etc when my baby awake (although luckily I have a partner who helped with cleaning...and was around so I could have baths sometimes)

Mine did nap in his pram on a walk though- which was helpful to have some time without him attached to me- as did find always having a baby attached to me overwhelming.

Enjoy the cuddles, they're the best!

Are you sure you can't get more done when he's awake? I think people often underestimate how interested babies are in everyday stuff. Put him in a sling, chair, mat etc and he'll probably be happy to watch you cook, clean, shower etc. Especially if you talk to him about what you're doing or give him something to hold (when he's big enough!)

Of course, if you just want time to yourself for the sake of sanity, that's different.

Until this week, I would literally let my little one take every nap on me but I started feeling like I was going wrong somewhere (I follow Rochelle Humes on Instagram whose baby is two weeks older than mine and felt really jealous seeing her hands free exercising and cooking and doing all these things). Anyway to cut a long story short I’ve persevered with putting him down in his cot (I take him upstairs as soon as I see the first sign of sleepiness). I lie him down under his mobile with a rotating star lamp and ocean waves sounds on the Alexa...he will eventually nod off (can take absolutely ages so I take my book and phone or will take some washing to fold in there). He does reasonably well and the longest he’s done is about an hour but it can be so hit and miss whereas when he’s on me he will do well over an hour without fail...most of the time two. I’d say just go with it, who cares...unless you really need to do something, we have nowhere to go atm and no timings to adhere to, so I think we should probs just embrace it, I’ll still let him have his afternoon ones on me and these are his best sleeps

Yeah @Crowsaregreat, he’s at the age now where I can put him down for 10 mins or so and he can occupy himself so I can do housework in that time. I think you’re all right - there’s a societal expectation that says I need to put him down for naps when really if we’re both enjoying the cuddles then where’s the problem?!

I’m probably getting ahead of myself now but what about when I go back to work and he goes to nursery? Surely he’ll need to be able to nap independently then? Will that be something he’ll learn?

@Melbs6 you really don’t have to put him down if you don’t want to or feel you need to. My DC1 had all naps in my arms/sling/pram and it wasn’t a problem at all. In fact I found it a lot more flexible as it meant we could nap when out and about in contrast to my friends whose days were all completely broken up by and arranged around the need to be home and near their cot for set times every single day. Nurseries are amazing at teaching napping and the peer pressure really helps them. Every child I have known has adapted really well to it, however they were used to doing things at home. You definitely don’t need to start preparing now.

Saying all this I’ve now got DD2 who is 12 weeks and I need to be able to put her down as a toddler means I can’t have all of those lovely relaxing cuddles on the sofa that I used to! So I’m making it my mission to start persuading her this week.

I just decided one week she WILL nap in her cot not matter what happens, and spent hours just putting her back in, soothing her and not letting her nap elsewhere. It worked in the end and i told my friend and she did the same with hers and also got there in the end. I remember I used to put my hand on her and decide 'once I can count down from 30 and she hasn't moved, I can move my hand away'. Now she sleeps well in her cot and won't sleep on me. Except this week she is teething so everything has gone to shit

Thanks @Tier500 that’s really reassuring and helpful. I’m just going to enjoy all these cuddles. Like you say, when I have another I won’t be able to enjoy the nap cuddles so much with a toddler running around.

And thanks @peetieswie I might try that technique when I move him from his next to me to his cot.