I've been wrestling with something these last few weeks and hoping for some advice if any one is tuning in?
My dd7 has a best friend almost exactly the same age. They saw each other every other weekend as she doesn’t live in our town and comes to stay with her dad (DH's best mate) as part of a custody arrangement. The girls have been close since babies, and I would say have that inseparable ‘bond’ which is lovely. We are close families, we go on holiday with each other and we spend a lot of time together in usual circumstances.
Sadly, for reasons I won’t go in to, her friend hasn’t been able to come and stay since October. They have not been allowed any contact at all with each other and dd7 is asking constantly when she can talk to her friend. Face-times and calls between the pair can only be facilitated when her friend stays at her dads house. We have been able to use corona as a way of skirting the issue, expecting the situation to resolve in a few weeks but it hasn't.
It doesn’t help that I am so bloody angry with the choices made by the adults involved either, and there’s going to be a lot of relationship damage all round between our two families. I'm trying to bite my tongue but I find it very hard to talk rationally about it and to be honest, feel very helpless.
DD is really suffering at the moment, she is devastated by school closing and being home all day while her dad works and I’m having to go to out to my job. She’s not sleeping, not eating properly and all she keeps asking is to see her friend. I feel like a positive resolution is looking less and less likely by the day but if I tell dd truth then it’s just going to devastate her! However, I also don’t want to give her false hope that she will see her friend soon. It’s so frustrating how dd's feelings are such a low priority in an awful situation, and I completely see why they wouldn’t be top of the consideration list, especially when grandparents feelings don't seem to have been accounted for, but it’s going to break dd's heart and have a profound impact. I don't even know if her friend is experiencing the same as
I have no relationship with the other parent involved and have only met her a handful of times, our link was through the dads being mates. Any ideas where to start? I don’t think it’s a bad thing for dd to know that adults don’t always make the best choices but this is not going to make her feel better. It almost feels like i’m preparing for a bereavement/grieving process to be honest. I don’t want to raise dd's hopes and suggest that it’s only a temporary situation just in case it isn’t. I’ve tried to talk to DH's friend, who has said that dd could write her a letter and he would send it on. I'm reluctant as I don’t feel her friend would be allowed to reciprocate, if she's even allowed to see it, which will just add to the feeling of rejection and loss. I also worry that DH's friend would be accused of trying to coerce his daughter by sending something that could be seen as a 'bribe' to gain communication.
Any advice on how to approach this would be gratefully received. Thank you x