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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Would you call this neglect?

79 replies

Longdale · 29/10/2007 19:00

Down our street lives a boy of around 6 years old. Since I have known him (since he was around 4) he has wandered up and down the street at all hours day and night. He hardly ever goes to school.
Sometimes I walk past him during the day and he will say "got up late so there's no point going to school now", other times he'll say "I've been to school today already and have been picked up early" (this is often around 2pm).
He's filthy, always covered in dirt all over his hands, face and clothes and he's always wearing the same clothes...ill fitting jogging suit bottoms, a t-shit (never seems to wear a coat) and wellington boots.

He once came to our house asking for a cigerette for his mum. I told him I didn't smoke and he put his hand on my hallway wall to peer around it and was so dirty he left a handprint on my wall.

I've just took my eldest to Karate and I saw said boy playing at the top of the street, wandering around the corner into the next street in pitch black darkness. Teenagers hanging around all over.

His front garden is covered in rubbish...not just crisp packets etc but 3 or 4 prams, old bikes, chairs, tables, carpets, sacks of rubbish...it actually resembles a mini rubbish tip. The house itself has a blanket pinned to the window during the night time but during the day you can see through and it mirrors the garden, stuff everywhere...the window ledge is piled up with god knows what.

I think his "mother" might be a drug addict, I saw her dragging the two kids down the street once (the youngest of which put two fingers up to me) and she could hardly lift her head as she walked.

I'm considering reporting them to the social services. Am I being judgmental?

OP posts:
NAB3 · 29/10/2007 19:03

Get on the bloody phone now!

ArmadilloDaMan · 29/10/2007 19:03

I'd report it. If he's out by himself all hours of day and night that's a worrying sign.

If he's missing so much school social services might already be aware.

PrincessAfterLife · 29/10/2007 19:03

that is such a tough one
my heart goes out to the little boy
my instinct would be that someone needs to know about him but I don't know how much/what type of evidence is needed

Hassled · 29/10/2007 19:04

It really doesn't matter if you're being judgemental or not - you have concerns, they appear to be legitimate, and that is enough to warrant a phone call to Social Services. They are in the best position to decide whether the children are neglected - and it may be that they think the kids are fine. Whatever the outcome, it is always better to trust your instincts in cases like this.

NAB3 · 29/10/2007 19:04

2 years you have noticed this? What has prompted you to think you should be doing something now?

Longdale · 29/10/2007 19:08

See I went through a stage of disliking him, he kept stealing my mail, smashing stuff up in my garden and I couldn't let my kids play out because of him (one of his favourite games was chucking bricks at each other to see who cried first!). I would dread seeing him but as I watch him wandering around on his own I feel like crying. One time the council work men put him in their van and drove up and down with him letting him help with their work which...whilst sweet in one way is worrying in another...He wouldve got in a van with anyone.

Today I was bringing my kids home from school and I saw him in his front garden, his mum staggered out, said something to him and then went back inside slamming the door and he sat on the doorstep crying. I don't think he's allowed in half the time.

OP posts:
Longdale · 29/10/2007 19:10

I've been thinking about it for the past year but for a while I didn't see him so I thought he'd moved. But recently he's out more than ever and the doorstep incident triggered it off again for me.

OP posts:
DirtyGertiefromnumber30 · 29/10/2007 19:10

fucking hell. Report it now.

Longdale · 29/10/2007 19:11

Is there anyway they will find out who reported them?

OP posts:
DirtyGertiefromnumber30 · 29/10/2007 19:13

no, im sure it's anonymous. You'll feel better knowing you've done it.

EmsMum · 29/10/2007 19:13

Poor little mite. yes, it sounds like he needs some help. Quite possibly the mother needs help too. yes, call the social services. They may know or not, but they are overstretched, and you know the saying 'its the squeaking wheel that gets oiled' - well, do some squeaking for this kid.

ggglimpopo · 29/10/2007 19:15

Ring social services and report anonymously. Ring local GP surgery and ask for name of person in trust who deals with child protection and ring them and report anonymously.
This family will be known to hv and ss. You will be flagging concerns.

Do it in case it is too late and you regret it. Lots of people must know about this child (school and other neighbours for example) and everyone is waiting for everyone else to do something.

mammyjo · 29/10/2007 19:16

I think you can report these things anonymously. Social workers or health visitors can call to a house anytime, unannounced and not give any reason for their call. They certainly wouldnt tell the mother who had called about her. I think if you have real concerns about this little boy, and clearly you have, then I would make a call. You probably wouldnt need to leave your name anyway, so nobody would know it was you.

munchkinmum · 29/10/2007 19:18

Do it. Without a doubt. You'll regret it if it turns out he is at risk....

Hallowedam · 29/10/2007 19:19

Poor little mite, do call. FWIW I don't think this is about being judgemental, it's about seeing something is terribly wrong here and this kid needs help.

ggglimpopo · 29/10/2007 19:19

Oh, and they have a duty of care to follow up all reports. I would contact the Trust and the ss, tbh.

The child sounds as if it is falling through the net.

NAB3 · 29/10/2007 19:33

I would ring the police now as the SS are probably not there. You have to do something.

fireflyfairy2 · 29/10/2007 19:35

You asked about this before Longdale.

Just report him. You can't make it any worse for him. Just better!

brimfull · 29/10/2007 19:38

tbh I would have rung up long before now,this boy needs help

colditz · 29/10/2007 19:39

Oh goodness, report this child!

NAB3 · 29/10/2007 19:39

Have you rung yet?

colditz · 29/10/2007 19:40

I always think, if I am thinking about if I should report, whether reporting would make their life any better ... well, even if this child spent the rest of his life in local authority care, it sounds like it would be better than the life he leads now.

lapsedrunner · 29/10/2007 19:40

Yes, phone now

12lbnaturally · 29/10/2007 19:45

I wouldnt report the child because he's grubby/dirty - if he plays a lot outside then he may be one of those kids who attracts dirt. His clothes may be a bit small, and he may wear wellies all the time but I wouldnt be bothered about that. What I would be bothered about is his lack of schooling, which is compulsory (and he doesnt appear to be home schooled) and the fact he is wandering around in the evening. He is at risk of being abducted, or murdered and that needs reporting.

magaddict · 29/10/2007 19:45

You must report it, sounds horrendous.

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