Toddler twins at bedtime - GAAAARRRRHHHH

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

Please send help, or a stiff drink.

Twins are 2y11m. They have always been really good at bedtime. They go up at the same time each night, milk, story, teeth, bed with a special bedtime song, and they're flat out.

Till about a fortnight ago. They just sort of "woke up" at bedtime and are being really naughty, getting out of bed, running around, shrieking, keeping each other awake etc.

We have sanctions for bedtime bad behaviour, mostly not being allowed to have a special new toy in bed if they act up - but this has gone way beyond that. I must have put DS back down 20 times tonight. DD kept getting out of bed and then standing there weeping with tiredness. It's not that they're not tired, it's like they're over-wired or going through some hellish "leap".

I felt totally out of options tonight and ended up getting shouty, which I hate.

We never had this with 6yo DD1. Please, how the fuck do you keep twin toddlers in bed??????

Do they still nap? If no, drop that.

It sounds ridiculous but could you just put a stairgate on their door and leave them to it til they're actually ready to go to bed?

@Ohalrightthen

Do they still nap? If no, drop that.

It sounds ridiculous but could you just put a stairgate on their door and leave them to it til they're actually ready to go to bed?

If YES drop that. Jeez.

I guess they share a room? We put one to bed and one stayed up for a final story, 1st child asleep 2nd sleepy downstairs and carried to bed. Obviously swap every night so it's fair 😒. When they got older we moved house so they could have bedroom each, they still shout to each other across my room.

Drop nap, baby gate on door.

Separate if necessary? A toddler bed in your room temporarily?

Oh god our twins did this for about a year, it was a fucking nightmare they didn't go to sleep until soooo late they just refused and ended up asleep in our bed super late watching Peter Pan until they fell asleep..
then on our wedding night their key worker from nursery picked them up from our wedding in the afternoon to take them home and put them to bed and stayed over night.
She managed to get them in their own beds, in pjs, clean teeth..etc on time
We still have absolutely NO idea what she did or said, but 2 years later we still haven't had any problem at bed time ever again!!!!

Sympathy op

We did actually go for the stairgate across the door method. They had a safe bedroom - we took the cot mattresses out and put them on the floor, and there was no furniture that could be climbed or pulled over. This stage actually only lasted a few weeks thankfully.

They sound overtired if anything (sorry I realise that’s the least helpful thing anyone could say). DS starts dicking about at bedtime when he’s overtired, no idea why they do it though. DS needed a nap at that age to prevent shitey bedtime behaviour, I used to limit it to an hour and he had to be up before 2.30pm. Might be worth a go? He just couldn’t get to sleep for anything once he’d got past the point of no return. What about trying to get them down a bit earlier?

Our twins started doing this when they were ready to drop their nap... they then went straight to sleep again. other twin mum friends have had this happen and have got one to sleep then taken the other up later or got them to sleep in another bed first and transferee then. Good luck!

We put a stair gate on their door and left them to it! Was too exhausted to do anything else, especially as I had another baby when they were 18 months old.

Following, think I will be in the same boat soon.
Mine are 2.9months and still nap and go to bed ok but think the nap will have to go soon. Feel grateful we've had this long! .

They dropped their nap ages ago and cannot have one downstairs as DD1 aged 6 is down there for a bit plus was on my own with them tonight.

They get up around 7, raring to go. Spend all day running around - today they had a playground trip plus accompanied my mum for a dog walk. And that was a less-active day by their standards. They are not allowed sugary foods or juice generally. We have had talks about how big girls like their sister go to bed nicely and only babies run around.

I may do the stairgate thing but it does stress me out. I think sleep is so important - their normal bedtime is 7pm but tonight they were still going at 8. Poor DD1 was in bed complaining they were keeping her up.

Gah! DH has gone out to get me a beer.

Expecting, mine stopped napping in the first lockdown, they would've been about 2y3m then.

Co-worker with twins your age had the same issue. At bedtime, read stories to them together then one was put in parents bed in next room, and carried into her own bed when fast asleep later.

Thing is, DD1 also needs to have a story so our bedroom is used for that. Plus we don't have room in our bedroom for a toddler bed.

Am feeling like Negative Nelly this evening! Am sure it'll pass......

😓😓😓

No advice, just some solidarity! My DTs are the same age as yours, and are both still wide awake. Stair gates are an excellent idea until they learn to climb them like my DD.

They’ll sleep eventually. That’s what I tell myself as I try to keep a lid on my emotions whilst thinking that they’re so bloody lucky to be put to bed to sleep!

It will pass I promise!! You're doing amazingly well

Mum of 2.5 year old twins here! I’ve got a stairgate on their room and room is toddler proofed (they sleep on floor beds and all furniture fastened to wall)
I normally lie with my two until they sleep. If there’s a night they won’t go down then I just leave them to it! My little girl normally cries for me (which is heart rending but I only leave them five minutes max) Then when I go back they will lie down with me and sleep.
You’ll never win the battle trying to get two toddlers to bed if they don’t want to go. I’ve stopped even trying I’m a single mum so I don’t have the energy for it by 8pm!

Thanks all. Better night tonight - they were knackered after last night!
Plus I think ppl are right about the overtiredness. Tonight they mucked about in the bath and then jumped up and down on our bed after being asked not to. So I said no story, straight in bed.

They were distraught as we always do stories but I sang to them for about 5 min and then told them sternly I didn't want any noise....and they said "okay Mummy" in unison and went to sleep

I mean, obviously they will now be up at 2am, 3am, 4 etc but I'm calling it a win for now....!

We still have absolutely NO idea what she did or said, but 2 years later we still haven't had any problem at bed time ever again!!!!

She probably threatened to murder them like I would.
My friends kids play her up for hours every night making her almost suicidal with exhaustion. I won't stand for any of that and they dare not play me up, when I'm there they go to bed. They know I mean business and I don't even have to raise my voice.

I went over there one day and just watched and there was zero discipline, at one point one of the children was swinging from her hair and pulled some of it out and she didn't do anything about it!!

Yeah see I'm normally like that but it's just recently at bedtime they' ve started ignoring me, and what do you actually do? I mean obviously I'm not going to smack them and they don't understand future consequences like no story tomorrow. So what do you actually do? - genuinely want to know. I say they can have their stuffed animals ij bed as long as they're being good and they go if not, but if they're still jumping around after that, what other consequences are there?

@shehasadiamondinthesky I hope you didnt tell her how much of a crap mother you clearly think she is. You're smug post says a lot about you.

Can your 6 year old read? I'm thinking she reads to one twin in the twin's room, and you read to the other in your bed. Obviously only if DD is happy to help.

One of my friends has 2 children, not twins but only 12 months between them, she put fairy lights round the bed and if they were good the 'fairy' would switch the lights on.

Sorry I can't be a real help, but have you considered filming them? There is a whole world of twins antics at bedtime on youtube. It won't help you but it could earn you some money.

Here are some little darlings sleeping soundly