To dummy or not to dummy? If so, how to do it properly?

[crazychemist]

I’ve got twins who are 12 weeks old (7 weeks adjusted age). Sleep is rather tricky at the moment.

Before I start, I’m not really interested in being told “I’d never stick a piece of plastic in my babies mouth”. For my eldest, we never bothered with a dummy. She was ebf and if she seemed to need to suck I’d feed her and that worked really well for us. BUT with twins it isn’t working for us. Yes, I can feed them both at the same time, but I find it very hard to do so unless I have help getting them into position (once I’ve got one one I only have one hand and struggle to pick up the second). So sometimes it’s necessary to feed one, and then try and settle them another way while I feed the other.

One twin seems to quite like the dummy, and actually falls asleep better that way that feeding to sleep. My DMum says I shouldn’t leave the dummy in, but should just use it to relax him. Is that what people do? Or should I wait till he’s a bit older? He’s being a nightmare to get down sometimes so I dread trying to get it out too early. The other twin doesn’t like the dummy if I’m an option, but is keen to stay latched onto me for a significant chunk of the night instead.... which I’d actually be fine with, but I need to feed his brother occasionally and do t want him to wake up and fuss.

Tips please?

I don't think there's any right or wrong answer but we personally used dummies for both ours for daytime sleep only, from a few weeks old until around 7/8 months. Both EBF and both high centile babies so did a lot of breast suckling as well, but both were rubbish nappers and the dummies really helped. Personally I didn't want them to be too reliant on them that we couldn't remove them so never used them overnight, but was quite lucky that they were both quite good nighttime sleepers so never felt we needed them. Hadn't got a fixed end in sight the first time but DS completely rejected his dummy at 7 months when his first teeth came through - he just never wanted it again and never seemed to miss it. We were pretty delighted to be honest that we never had to battle to take it away, so with DD we decided to take it away at around the same time. It took about 24 hours with minimal additional tears and then she was completely fine. So for us it worked really well - used sparingly and didn't let them get overly dependent on them - one additional benefit is that neither of them are thumb suckers either. Really though with twins you have to do what works and keeps you all sane - especially at the moment when everything is harder and usual support networks are unavailable.

I used a dummy for my DS. He would sooth himself to sleep with it. Sometimes it stayed in his mouth, other time it would fall out. I loved it because hed self sooth with it. Then suddently at 7 months old he decided he didnt want it anymore. I was very sad.

My 5.5month dd loves her dummy and it helps soothe her to sleep for both daytime naps and night time sleep. At some point in the night it falls out and nowadays she doesnt normally need it to be put back in at 3/4/5am, whereas previously she would have cried for it. It never falls out during her day naps..not sure why haha. Sometimes at night if shes reallyyyy sleepy she will go down without it (this is rare!)
Eventually i know we will have to wean her off it which will not be fun, unless she grows out of it on her own (doubtful!)

Giving a dummy is recommended for SIDS now...

Thanks for the tips! So nobody is worrying about sneaking it out before they fall properly asleep?

At the moment he will fall asleep without it, but he wakes up unlesss there is something to help him through sleep transitions e.g cuddle, motion or dummy

I think SIDS guidelines say if they fall asleep with it they're supposed to have it for the sleep, and for every sleep

My ds has always had a dummy, he only really has it for sleep or when he's tired and sitting in his chair (he's 6.5 months) but I see no harm in them at all. Anything to settle the baby!! I just don't plan on making it an all day thing, and plan to take it from him before he's old enough to really really miss it. (We'll see how that goes😂)