Any cosleepers have tips on how to still have an evening?

[Rkj7819]

I’ve coslept with my one year old most of the way through..although since 7 months she always starts the night in her cot and she has all naps in her cot. I also moved her to her own room at 7 months and I put a mattress on the floor I then take her out of cot after first wake up and cosleep in her room (she wakes husband up if in same bed). I’m fine with cosleeping as it’s been the easiest option..however for the past couple of months she’s waking up after only 1 hour of being asleep in her cot and then won’t settle at all so it means I have to go to bed at 8pm most nights!

She used to sleep maybe 3 hours so I had time with husband / myself before cosleeping. Is this a product of the cosleeping..is she waking early because I’m not there? I was wondering whether to secure her room with baby gate etc so I can settle her in the bed and the sneak off..anyone had any success with this? Not sure she’ll fall for it though!

I love cosleeping but can see it causing problems with me and husband in the future if we have zero alone time together...

Is she going through a developmental leap maybe? Crawling, walking, separation anxiety? It may be a short term blip if so. If not then I guess it's a question of teaching her it's safe to be asleep without you there which is probably going to start with her falling asleep on her own and then hopefully she will learn to resettle by herself. I don't mean out down and leave the room to a wailing child as I assume if you cosleep that's not your thing. But more a gradual and gentle putting down whilst you cuddle then hold hands, then one hand, then occasional patting of tummy etc etc until she can do it without being distressed. Sarah Ockwell-Smith is great for gentle parenting advice.

How is she getting to sleep? If you're there when she falls asleep and she wakes up alone, then she's not going to be able to get back to sleep if she wakes between cycles.

When she can fall asleep by herself, you might have better luck at longer stretches

What you really want is to stop the wake one hour after bedtime.

What’s her nap schedule? If you haven’t yet, might be a sign it’s time to drop down to one nap. Most kids move to 1 nap between 12-15 months. Bring bedtime forward to 6.30/7pm

We have a mattress on the floor and a baby gate, feed baby to sleep, ninja roll away and hope she doesn’t wake up.

This is unfortunately really normal for the time between about 7-12 months. I found it was the hardest time for sleep. I would just move mine to our bed until they went back to sleep and then get up and go back downstairs. We have a big bed and it’s a safe space so fine to leave unattended. Also get your Dh used to doing it. Even if you don’t have evenings together when it’s a tough week, it’s important to have down time for yourself and great for Dh if he’s been at work all day and not had time with your dc.