New mum emotions

[Lolarosemama]

Hey,

I’m here basically just for a “tell me I’m not alone” whinge because I’ve missed the opportunity to be with mum friends so I just feel like I’m doing this all alone.

My boy is 3 months old and he is so wonderful. He’s a happy and healthy baby but I just feel like a shell of myself. Has anyone else felt like this? I’m so tired that I don’t concentrate very well or sometimes feel like I’m barely in the room.

I also don’t feel like myself because all I’m doing is interacting with someone who can’t talk so I’ve almost forgotten my usual bubbly self. Then there’s the horrible self doubt of so many decisions I make, like overthinking if I’ve done the right thing by baby etc.

Mums, please weigh in! I was able to see a mum friend a couple of months ago and I realised how much just talking to others helps!

Xxx

Don't worry this is totally normal! I felt like this too. I think once the adrenaline had worn off from the first couple of months I remember feeling absolutely exhausted and don't even know how I coped. Just keep going and be kind to yourself. Rest as much as you can (I know you wont be able to much) and eat a lot to keep your energy up. Also dont stress too much about how well you're taking care of your LO. If you are feeding, changing their nappy and giving them lots of cuddles then that's enough. Everything else is a bonus. You are doing such an amazing job feeling the way you are. I would suggest trying to just watch funny things on tv to relax your brain for a while. Looking after such a young baby is hard but keep going and it will get easier x

Hey I can totally relate...
Before having a baby, I was extremely social, very active and rarely had a quiet day...the drastic change of suddenly having a baby and all the emotions that come with that, together with this pandemic and not living near my parents or other family members has left me feeling really isolated. I don’t know about you but I find it really hard to relax and enjoy things like I used to? I completely get your feelings. I’m just telling myself things are rubbish for everyone atm and to just suck it up and embrace these lazy days with my little one as my tears and moaning won’t change anything! I find I’m my own worst enemy...the more I dwell on and analyse things the worse I feel so I try to just be realistic about everything and am telling myself it will all pass (the sleepless nights and miserable lockdown times!!))

Wow, I completely understand how you feel. My husband works away sun night -fri night and their wasn’t anyone I could bubble with (each family unit had a high risk family member). So the only adult conversation I had/have all day is to my husband at lunch time for 15 minutes. I then go to bed at 7 with my DD and try and get as much sleep as possible (last week it was 1.5 to 2 hours a night out of the 12 hours trying to sleep). So, now by the time I start his bedtime routine, all my friends have just gotten in from work. Sorry for the long moan. Just to say, I know how you feel. I trying to do something nice for myself each day. Even if it’s go for a walk as my baby is distracted and I can enjoy the scenery, go to the beach and watch the ocean from my car (DD is usually asleep) or watch my favourite show when DD is breastfeeding. Also do online classes which is nice to bring some structure to the day. My DD is 7 months and I can’t wait for her to sleep through the night so I can have an evening to myself...someday maybe...when she’s 25 haha
Hope you feel a bit better and your not alone, definitely come here whenever you need to talk or maybe try and do walks with another mum. I know Facebook have w few groups. My usual baby class are arranging ‘buggy buddies’ for walks. I would do it but this nee schedule we are trying doesn’t allow for a lot of time out sadly but hopefully soon

Your feelings are completely normal and very very common! I was the same when my DD was the same age, I found looking after was really quite boring and I made sure I had a class or mum friends to see every day so it was also something for me to look forward to. Obviously you can't do this at the moment, but have you tried facetiming/WhatsApp video call with people? I found that I started feeling better between 6 months and 1 year because she developed so quickly and her personality really shone through. It's so difficult but is worth it. Also, you think you may as well be talking to a brick wall but they are taking it all in so keep doing what you're doing!

Thanks ladies! Lockdown makes this all so so much harder doesn’t it!! This isn’t at all how I pictured becoming a mum. My best friend is just round the corner with a new baby and we can’t even hang out ☹️