Unresponsive almost-1-year-olds

[worriedmumoftwins]

I am starting to suspect that my twin girls have some sort of ASD. They will be 1 in a few days and they just don't respond to anything, with the exception of peekaboo and that they are both quite smiley. Other than those two things, they never imitate anything. They won't point, wave, respond to their names or even look up when spoken to. Their eye contact is really poor. In fact I usually feel completely invisible to them. I'm fairly confident their hearing is ok, because they get excited when they hear their dad come in from work. Their development seems fairly on track in other ways.

I am waiting for a call back from the health visitor, but would love to hear from other parents who had a similar experience. What happened next, and how is your child now?

The girls were born at 35+5, so although a little bit early we were told to stop adjusting for that at 1 year.

I know it's really early days, but I just feel worried sick.

They're still very young so I wouldn't panic too much just yet (easier said than done I know).

My DS is 15 months and has been on the slower side with some of this stuff. He doesn't wave and only started pointing yesterday (I asked him where the pig was in his book and he pointed...to the duck). He was definitely older than a year when he started imitating stuff.

I spoke to the health visitor and she said to wait until 18 months before they would consider any speech and language referral.

What is their understanding like? Will they follow simple instructions like "come here?"

Thanks for replying @Moonbabyskalimba. No they don't follow instructions at all, they just completely ignore me whatever I say to them. It's a real effort just to get them to look at me and they don't seem to have much understanding at all

It's still very early days. Hopefully they will start to develop more understanding but if there is an issue then getting them on the radar as early possible will be best. I hope the health visitor can provide you with some support.

Just bumping this. I'm so worried

Dont worry. My twins boys were like this, they were born at 36 weeks. They just took a little time to catch up. They're 2 and a half now and doing really well, they are bang on development wise for their age now. X

If you are concerned, it might be worth doing this 12 month progress checker from ICan before you see your HV

Thanks so much @Gkeshs3under3, I really needed to hear that! Glad that your twins are doing well now.

Thank you for the link @JiltedJohnsJulie, I just filled it in. No to most of the questions unfortunately, so it definitely seems that they will need some monitoring.

I would still get their hearing checked as a first port of call.

I will do @Ostryga, I can't be 100% sure that they can hear properly so that does need to be ruled out.

I just feel absolutely worried sick about this I had a big cry whilst washing up the breakfast things, and they didn't even look up from their high chairs. I shouldn't cry like that in front of them I know.

@worriedmumoftwins

I will do *@Ostryga*, I can't be 100% sure that they can hear properly so that does need to be ruled out.

I just feel absolutely worried sick about this I had a big cry whilst washing up the breakfast things, and they didn't even look up from their high chairs. I shouldn't cry like that in front of them I know.

That suggests hearing issues to me, to be honest. It’s quite common in premies, even ones who are only slightly so.

You can self refer for hearing tests in most areas but if it's no to listen answers, I'd also be asking for a referral o a Paed for assessment x

The first things to check are hearing and sight, to make sure those are not the reasons for lack of responses. (It sounds crazy, but my second child was visually impaired, but we didn't pick up on it for a long time, because he would react when DH got home etc - I think he could smell him!

Do they respond to one another? e.g. do they reach out and take the other's toy, of pat their face, or babble at each other?

I wouldn't take the lack of response to your crying as an indicator of much. Unless you were absolutely bawling and wailing, and then babies would likely be upset, they're not likely to react to tears/weeping/sniffing etc at their age. Neither of mine would have tbh.

Did your HV come back to you yet?
How is their physical development (can they sit, roll, etc). Have either shown signs of crawling or pulling up yet?

I know it's worrying, but they're all so different- even twins can develop at different paces, which makes things even harder sometimes.

Thanks again for the replies. I think if it is hearing then there's still more to it, as the eye contact has worried me right since they were tiny. They've just never liked looking at my face!

The Health Visitor is going to do a development assessment on them in a couple of weeks, then depending on the outcome of that look at referrals. It's pretty much a given though unless they make remarkable progress in the meantime.

Sight is an interesting consideration @NavyFlask, based on other things I'd be surprised but certainly worth looking into thank you.

Do they respond to one another? e.g. do they reach out and take the other's toy, of pat their face, or babble at each other?

They always steal toys from each other but that's about the extent of their interaction! They have occasionally laughed at each other but not for quite a while now.

How is their physical development (can they sit, roll, etc). Have either shown signs of crawling or pulling up yet?

They're about on track now. They were late sitters, and only sat fully independently about a month ago. They could only bear weight on their legs at about 9 months as well and their heads were still wobbly until around 7 months! So that was my worry all through summer... But they've made very quick progress over the last month, always climbing and cruising around the furniture now. They've gone from being quite late to on track physically. I really hope their communication goes the same way.

I'm not very useful but just wanted to handhold, particularly reading that you've been getting upset.

I went through a period of writing that DS might not be looking at me or listening to me enough but looking back, I think he was just processing lots of things at once and knew I was there and was very confident I want going away, so could be safely ignored! Sometimes (i.e. every evening he walks through the door and is allowed to play with the keys in the lock!) he'll still get very engrossed in something and be intently into it, not to be distracted by anything but he's much more sociable now at 18 months. Lots of eye contact and trying to chat and point to things etc. so I didn't need to worry.

That's not to dismiss your concerns, which may be perfectly valid (and I gather that twins sometimes develop a bit differently by virtue of having each other as much as anything) but I wouldn't panic yet. And if they do turn out to have additional needs, I'm sure you'll do a fantastic job with that too. Good luck!

Hey- that sounds like they're coming on leaps and bounds! Do remember that while they're developing hugely in one area, other areas take a bit of a back seat, as it were, because it takes so much energy to grow and learn! My children still have massive tired phases and meltdowns when they're growing, and they're a teen and a tween.

The sight thing was a huge surprise to us- DS never bumped into stuff, he interacted with others, he seemed to be looking at books when you read to him but it turns out he could see no detail at all.
I've no idea how they test in children your twins' age though- he was 2, so could say what pictures he could not see. (House, bird, car etc)

Thank you so much for your lovely messages @PracticallyPerfectInZeroWays & @NavyFlask, I am so grateful for the reassurance. I'm really glad your little one is progressing well now @Practically, and I hope your DS is doing ok too @Navy

Hi I know this is a really old thread, but if you are still here, do you have any update on your twins please? My baby is 13 months and is like this and I’m so worried. Thank you 🙏🏻