My 8 month old is always miserable

[Vicky1989x]

My 8 month old DD has been miserable since the day she was born and nothing I do makes her happy. It’s really wearing me down and I don’t know what to do anymore.

She was born 4 weeks early with IUGR (weighed 3lb 9oz) and has suffered with reflux since 4/5 weeks old. The first 5 months were hell but she seemed to settle down for a little while but now she is constantly miserable again. All she does all day is whinge and cry no matter what I do. Even if I put her in a sling or carry her around after a while she’ll start whinging again.

I’m also worried about her development - she’ll be 9 months in a couple of weeks and she can’t roll over, sit up, crawl or anything. If I put her on her belly she just ‘superman’s’ and screams bloody murder until I pick her up, as if she’s in pain from it. She won’t push up on her arms whilst on her belly either.

She suffers constantly with trapped wind despite winding her well - she’ll have 3-5 burps after a bottle and STILL has more wind.. it’s never ending. It’s as if she still suffers with colic.

Everytime I speak to the GP, he tells me to call the health visitors but when I manage to actually talk to someone, they tell me to go the GP! We saw a paediatrician when she was 5 months old and we discussed the possibility of CMPA but she wouldn’t drink the DF formula and then she settled down so I thought it can’t be CMPA but now I’m wondering if it might be.

Sorry for the long rant but I just feel as if I can’t bond properly with her because she’s constantly so miserable and I feel like it’s my fault she’s like this. :-(

Not really sure what I’m hoping from this but hopefully others have been through the same and can give me some advice.

Can you try her again on dairy free formula? To check again for CMPA?

Id be really pushing the HV for an assessment here

Sorry you're being passed from pillar to post, sounds like you're having a rough time of it. It's absolutely shocking nobody is helping you. Did the paediatrician give you an option to get in touch if you were still concerned? If not you need to be pushing your HV and GP to be seen. The HV team need to be keeping an eye on her development if she's not hitting some of her milestones and the GP needs to be looking at the issues around reflux and allergies. Be strong, state your concerns, state your disappointment in nobody seeing you, insist on an appointment. Hope you get somewhere :)

How is weaning going? Do you think any of the food she's eating might be disagreeing with her? Dairy especially if you suspect CMPA.

My 8 month old is so grumpy since starting solids if she needs a poo. She gets constipated quite easily if she's had too much banana or carbs. Her disgestive system is still catching up it seems. Could it be that, if she's uncomfortable on her belly?

The not rolling, sitting up etc is a bit unusual though. What does your GP say about that? I'd just say your HV isn't reachable and you need to speak to a GP. They can't keep fobbing you off.

Thank you everyone. I’m going to call the HVs tomorrow - I haven’t heard from one since she was 6 weeks old and the only time I’ve spoken to them is when I’ve begged them to weigh her.

The paediatrician discharged her and when I asked my GP to refer her back, he told me to speak to the HV first GP also said give her until 9 months to see if she starts sitting unaided - she can for a few seconds but to me it looks as if she doesn’t have the upper body strength. She also makes these awful straining noises when sitting up or on her belly, like she has a belly ache. FYI she poos pretty regular (2-3 times a day, not hard, seems normal to me).

Can’t really tell if food is upsetting her because she’s always so miserable anyway so it’s hard to pinpoint. I myself have Coeliac disease so I’m wondering if that’s a possibility.

Ah bless her, my DD acts like that when she has a tummy ache, usually if she's had dairy. Does calpol or nurafen make a difference, in case it's teething? Does she seem any better if she's not eaten gluten for a few days?

My DD went from barely being able to sit up for 5 seconds to mastering it in a couple of days, so she might get there sooner than you think!

Having a baby in lockdown is such hard work, even more so when they are cranky and clingy. I really hope things improve for you soon!

Your poor dd - it sounds like she is in pain (trapped wind can be horribly painful) and if she cant roll/sit/move she is probably feeling quite frustrated too. And poor you, to have such an unhelpful gp/hv combo.

If it were me, I'd be getting a bit "velvet bulldozer" right now - there is a problem (not necessarily a serious one but a problem nonetheless), and your dd needs some notice taking by her doctor and some answers.

Calpol or nurofen doesn’t seem to help her - in can’t nurofen makes her reflux worse! Anbesol helps a bit with her teething pain but she still whinges all day.

I think a lot of it is frustration. She has been trying to roll from her back to her tummy (she could roll from tummy to back at 5 months but seems to have forgotten how ) but if I try help her over, she gets mad at being on her tummy. She did last about 10 minutes on her tummy earlier but she was just laying there, didn’t even attempt to push up on her hands etc. (I’ve attached a pic so you can see what I mean )

She is off her milk and solids atm so could be teething but I’m not sure. Normally she has weetabix with cows milk for breakfast but I gave her porridge with her formula this morning so gonna try keep her off the cows milk a few days and see if that improves anything. Haven’t noticed a problem with gluten so far.

Thank you both though x

I know this is an old post but any chance you have an update on your little girl? My baby is 8 months suffers with silent reflux and is very similar whinges all day long and hates being on his tummy he has no strength in his arms at all I’m getting really worried @Vicky1989x

@Leigh93 Oh wow this is an old post! Turned out to be constipation. She did get a lot better once she could move though, crawled at 10.5 months and walked at 15 months but didn’t grow out of reflux until 18 months. But she’s a perfectly happy almost 4 year old now.

8 months was incredibly hard but it does get better, I promise!