Mum guilt with toddler & baby

[waterlane]

I know everyone always talks about mum guilt but I'm really feeling it at the moment. My DD is 2 so you can really have fun with her and play games properly, do activities, chat, ask her what she wants to do etc. My DS is only 9 months and I just feel guilty that I can't do that much with him, even though I know he is still just a baby. Lockdown obviously doesn't help as i'd love to take him to a soft play, that's the kind of thing he'd love I think or a playgroup for a change of scenery. My DH is always reassuring me and saying he's a baby still, he just needs boob, food and cuddles and he's happy (which he is!) but I give myself a hard time. Does anyone else feel like this? I loved taking him to baby sensory but this has now stopped. Lots of my friends who have a couple of children say I've never taken my baby to a class in their life or done xyz but I just always feel guilty in some way!

Yeh don’t feel guilty but if you really want the classes there are some baby sensory and bookbug classes on zoom

It's not so much the classes, it's just feeling guilty that I can do more with toddler. It's hard to explain what I mean. Maybe it's just what happens with the second child!

But when your DS is 2, and your DD is at school, surely you'll do all those things with him!? Don't feel guilty for not doing arts and crafts with a baby. That's just needlessly harsh. Cut yourself some slack.

I expect he enjoys watching you and DD, and joining in where he can. Younger siblings always seem fascinated by their big brother/sister! I'm sure you play with him too?

I feel guilty about the fact that baby DS doesn’t get as much attention as DD did at that age but then I feel bad if DD doesn’t get as much attention. It’s hard and I don’t really think there’s an easy answer. Baby DS is much more chilled out than DD was and I do wonder if it’s because he’s had to be. I think though that the benefits to both of having a sibling as they grow up outweigh the negatives of having to share attention.