Difficult 9 Month Old

[MirrorLight]

Hi all, just looking for some advice, solidarity, tips whatever can be given. My 9 month old girl is so demanding and cranky, I’m really struggling to keep it together.

She was an easy going newborn but she’s progressively got so much worse. Leaps used to be the only times she was particularly challenging but now it feels like it’s never ending. I can’t quite pinpoint when it exactly started but sometime before leap 6. So this has been going on for over 8 weeks now.

To summarise, she’s basically impossible to entertain. She won’t do anything for more than 4-5 minutes maybe 10 at a very generous push. She doesn’t like sitting on the floor, moving at all, she’s not crawling, she whinges instead of reaching for toys and if she has to do it herself she ends up on her tummy and cries until she’s picked up.

She sometimes wants to be walked which is so painful on my back. She mostly wants to be held while standing. She has days where she could sit on the couch, watch tv, be held and just alternating between those two endlessly. She cries if you try to do anything else with her.

I’ve tried books, paint, all sorts of Pinterest activities, walkers, all kind of toys etc. She’s now gotten into the habit of just crying whenever she’s put down anywhere, highchair, pushchair, floor etc.

She has been teething as she has one tooth that’s just cut but I she never had any signs (apart from the whinging if that counts).

I just find it so hard to know if/when she’s hungry, tired, in pain etc because she just whinges all day long.

We don’t have any support so it’s just me and my husband. We both work full time from home but I don’t have a lot of work at the minute so I’m just managing her all day.

I’m considering reaching out to my HV since she’s been AWOL since baby was a newborn. However, I’m not sure how she can help to be honest. I just feel so deflated, tired and drained.

Hi OP, no advice but just wanted to say my now nearly 12mo DD was exactly the same around that age. She would literally just moan. About everything! All I can say is she grew out of it. She still moans now but not to the same extent. I just used to aim to survive the day and that was it. Will your DD calm down after being put in the pushchair even if she initially cries? My DD would hate being put in it but once there & out the house she was fine. I think it’s the frustration of not being able to move independently yet and not being motivated enough to go & get a toy.
It’s so draining but hang in there it’ll get better I promise!

Thank you for the hope. I think I can survive 3 more months.... I think . She does calm down once we’re out yes. We do go out every day. Did your little one get on ok with crawling/walking? I’m wondering if her hatred of movement is slowing her down a bit.

From reading your post I honestly think it'll get a bit better once she cracks crawling/walking. Do you think its frustration maybe?

Solidarity here, my DS is exactly the same and to top it all off this week he won’t be put down for a nap and I’m having to self isolate, so no park walks! Along with grabbing my hair, skin and occasionally biting, I feel I’m about to lose the plot too

I also think it’s because he gets frustrated that he can’t move how he wants to. I’m hoping he’ll start crawling soon and that will help.

Hope it gets better for you soon

Does she cruise or hold herself standing in her cot, or is she close to it? I think the cot is often one of the first places they can manage it – the bars are easy to grab and get a good grip with tiny hands. There was a stage where we used to have 'cruising sessions' a couple times a day where I hung out on the bed and my wee one went cruised happily back and forth and back and forth in the cot, much needed relief from the endless demands to walk up and down the hall.

Also try giving her random household objects to explore, low cost/low effort for you, and they can take a fancy to the most random things.

Our DD was like this at that age, never really happy and quite often unhappy. Then she learned to crawl properly and was even an early walker just before her first birthday and it was like she'd had a personality transplant once she could move about, very sunny and cheerful most of the time. Still very good at whingeing when she has a reason to but I wish I'd known then that she would completely change as it was hard taking her out anywhere at that age and I couldn't see an end to it. She is a delight now. Fingers crossed you see an improvement soon 🙂

We had this too, around the same age.

I upped how much I offered her food, drink and boob in case she was hungry/thirsty

I put her into warmer clothes as I realised how cold and draughty it is on the floor

I found sitting in the floor with her helped.

But the biggy? Carrying her on my back around the house. She loved the closeness and watching me do chores.

Then four teeth popped through one after the other and she became more mobile, and went back to her normal self. I think she wanted the reassurance and cuddles.

Fast forward 3 months and we're going through it again, and two more teeth have just come through.

And she's trying to walk.

It's 100% a growth spurt / leap / development thing

I've got a 2 year old and a 9 month old and both times I've found this stage quite difficult. Everyone told me oh you wait till they're walking but I found it much easier. You can take them out for a walk, they can get out the buggy at the park, life just becomes easier. This in between stage is difficult because they're frustrated and often teething badly

@MirrorLight she won’t crawl, just rolls everywhere haha. Demands to constantly be walked around too which is so tiring on my back! She’s definitely held back by her hate of movement it’s like she wants to do it but not by herself haha. But she doesn’t constantly whinge anymore which is good. Instead now she throws a tantrum if I do anything she doesn’t like eg, steer her away from dangerous things, not give her my phone, sit her down 😂

All good tips thank you! How did you go about the carrying? Did you use a sling? She does like it in a sling forward facing but my c section scar doesn’t do well with her weight and I get really sore.

I have an 11 month old DS, and would say he came out of the stage your after describing very recently. He's more mobile with crawling now, and that is the joy of his life! Happy chappy now.

I would not underestimate the teething pain. I'm told the pain is worse when the teeth are moving in the jaw, before they break through. So you may not see it, just notice the ear rubbing. I found a little baby ibruprofen in the morning and later some baby calpol really helped DS, got the swelling down.
Plus I echo getting on the floor and rolling about. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) with this lockdown, we Mums are their entire world, and as wonderful as this is, my friends and I say "the days are long!"

My DS is 9 months old and very similar. I think like others have said it’s the frustration of wanting to go places but not being very mobile?

Hello. Interested to know how this panned out with your little one? I could have written this post about my 9 month old!