2 opposite children WWYD?

[sofakingawesome]

So I have 2 sons. Eldest is 4 1/2, youngest is 13 months. We are in general a very outdoorsy family. Live in the countryside, live Nextdoor to a lovely quiet park. Have horses, sheep, chickens, dogs, ducks etc. My eldest HATES being outside, he would quite happily just play indoors. He has always been the same, hated walks, hates the horses, not really an animal person. Will go to the park occasionally but really wouldn't mind if he didn't step outside all day. Whereas youngest is nuts. Was walking at 9 1/2 months. Would literally spend all day outside. When we are in he's constantly at the back door saying 'go go go' and crying when I say no. And the other one as soon as we are outside is just constantly moaning to go back in. So either way one of them is miserable and I get no peace whatsoever! So what would you do in this instant?

Oldest is old enough to understand/be negotiated with. Is there something he particularly wants to do at home e.g. “we’re going for a walk now, and when we come back we are going to play together with Lego while baby has his nap!”

I’m a great fan of presenting things as “it’s time to X” or “we’re doing X now” and avoiding actually asking their opinion unless you’d genuinely accept either answer.

Try not to tolerate moaning. Your DS is the same age as my DD, and moaning is a definite issue! Try to cut it off quickly - I try to acknowledge the feeling “I understand that you are feeling X, but your brother needs some fresh air. What could you do to help you feel better - would you like a cuddle, or to kick some leaves?” If moaning continues I repeat that I know how they are feeling, but the behaviour is not ok and they need to control it. Ask them to suggest what could distract them.
(This is what I TRY to do. I sometimes fail utterly at this, but when I stick to it it works really well)

I’d enforce a once-a-day outdoors rule, and have a snack en route as bribery.

For the rest- Patio doors, or a big window. One kid inside, one out. You’ll probably need to be outside with the toddler at this age. But tell the older one that as long as they play by the door then they can stay in sometimes.

I have two similar ds, but opposite in age. We are finally (age 8) at the stage where he will go outside almost every day without moaning. It’s taken a long time to work out what he likes to do and teach him to bear with it.

@crazychemist Moaning is a massive issue here, he is awful if you suggest anything that doesn't fit with his plan, and unfortunately bribery doesn't hit the spot either. He has all the toys a little boy could ever imagine to encourage him outside but he just hates it. Occasionally he will go and we had a lovely walk the other day, then the next day I really had to go and get the horses mucked out, tried to make a game of it and ended up having to drag him out there screaming because I had no other choice! The little one would literally live out there I think, we have a nice patio area I guess I could try allowing little one out on (obviously supervised) I just feel so torn and always feeling like iv got to upset someone to keep the other happy I hate it!

Thanks @peapotter I will defo try the snack/patio ideas, he's quite an independant well behaved child so I wouldn't worry too much about him being in if we were just in the immediate garden he would come find me if there was an issue, I just feel bad that he's stuck indoors all day, it would drive me potty!!