Night weaning two year old

[Allthenumbers]

My dd2 has just turned 2. Very occasionally she’ll sleep through but often will wake once and ask for breast milk. I want to stop to improve her sleep. But she’ll have a big tantrum which will wake up dd1 who is autistic. This can be very hard as she really will struggle to get back to sleep - can take hours - and if she is tired the next day, well the next day will be hellish.

So is there a way by gently drop her feed without the screams? Thanks!

With DD1 there was a lot of crying involved..... I used to escape with her to the living room so it was clear no BFing was happening.

I could suggest maybe a song. You breastfeed the whole song af first and then sleep. Slowly start stopping BFing at earlier points of the song and still sing the whole song. That's how I stopped DD2 from breastfeeding at night (but not in the middle of the night, she just started sleeping through)

Thanks. That’s a great idea! How long did it take with your dd from starting that to stoping needing the feed?

I was hoping dd2 would just start sleeping through but I think I need to face facts now!

Can be done without tears and upset but you'll need to accept it will take some time.

Reply with an '@' to me if you want the details- it's several paras etc and if it doesn't appeal, I'll save my typing effort

I tend to do things slowly so it's not so much a shock. So a few weeks. But it was easy on her and she didn't complain much at all

@Harrysmummy246 yes please, thanks. Yes definitely appeals. Just so I’m clear though she doesn’t feed to sleep at night time (she has a feed but then we do books etc and she goes to sleep in the cot) and in the night she is often awake after the feed and I then have to hold her / pat her etc So it’s not a feeding to sleep problem iyswim.

Thanks @grey12 Gives me hope!

My DD was just over 2 when we nightweaned. We started by reading books about it e.g “sally weans from night nursing” and “mamas milk is all gone”. The second time we read one we’d talk about it and how she was growing up. When she woke in the night after that I’d rock her to sleep. She stopped waking after a few nights (unless she needed a wee)

@Allthenumbers
Like @crazychemist we read a book and talked about it. A lot. DIdn't make any changes to cosleep/ BF whenever but did perhaps try to count down for the end of BF to delatch and as he was a bit less sleepy. Then if it seemed DS not particularly upset, offered a cuddle first. But didn't wait any major length of time if a cuddle wasn't working (e.g. some people try to settle for 10 min, no thanks, sleep too important). Sometimes that worked and if not, BF.

Then when he seemed to be more accepting of cuddles and readily delatching, we had a talk about mummy's milkies being very very tired and cuddles were available with mummy instead. Didn't ask after 3rd night. Hardly any tears as I was still available and would still bedshare- DH absolutely wasn't an acceptable alternative without all hell breaking loose which kind of defeated the object.

Sleep did improve after that and bedsharing has waned over time. I can honestly say he's only been in bed with me once in the last month, after a particularly vivid nightmare.

Thanks @Harrysmummy246 Could you explain “didn’t make any changes to cosleep/ BF whenever but did perhaps try to count down for the end of BF to delatch and as he was a bit less sleepy” What do you mean by count down for the end of bf to delatch? Thanks

We don’t bedshare but there’s a rocking chair in her room that I cuddle her on at bedtime and over night sometimes, like after a feed.

I think I need to give this some thought.

She’s very articulate and talks really well so I think the book and taking about it might be the way to go.

We'd started counting down on the bedtime milk feed for ds to delatch and number of chances if he was on and off messing about. So started using that in the night to shorten feeds and use the cue to stop feeding totally back to sleep. Then we'd have our cuddles and sleep.