When did you decide on another child?

[Froggles1]

Hi everyone,

Just wondering when people ‘knew’ they were ready for a second child?

My DC is 3 and I always wanted to have two (and still do) but don’t feel ready. My little one still seems to need me so much and the timing just doesn’t feel right (admittedly the world feels a bit strange right now)

I know noone can decide for me but I’ve started to worry if I wont ever be ready and leave it too long etc. I just cant picture having another but then when people I know have babies I do get a pang for that again.

For me it was when my first started school. It felt like he was getting more independent and I felt like I could see how another child could fit into our family. There's 5 years between dc1 and dc2 and it's been great. I get most of the day one-on-one with the baby while dc1 is at school and then I feel like I can focus on dc1 when he comes home without feeling bad about being slightly less focused on dc2.

When my first was due to start school. There was no way I was ready before that. I couldn't have coped with a toddler and newborn. Potty training and cluster feeding? No thanks.
Once the first was at school I could cope with a baby again.

I had my second as quick as poss, unfortunately I lost the first one at 13.5 weeks, there would have been 15 months between them. As it is there’s 2 yrs and 2 months. I thought it would be good to get it over and done with ASAP. So when my 3 yr old is at school, the other one will he at nursery (when he is 3)

I always wanted two. Then I had DD, it was traumatic for several reasons and she barely slept. Vowed no more.
Around 18 months things got easier, I had a change of heart and we decided to get on with it asap before we got too used to sleep and couldn’t face going back! We have a 2 yr 4 month age gap.

Terrible birth with DD1 put me off completely but then when she got to about 2 I desperately needed to have another baby. There's 3 years between them.

Thanks for the replies! I can understand wanting them close together (I think its just lovely for them to grow up together) think I will probably feel the same as a few posters; when he goes to school. Thanks again x

I wasn't really ready! But DH and I had always planned a 4 year age gap and he was treating it as a done deal when DD was about 3 so I went with the flow. It was a bit of a risk tbh but turned out very well, the 4 year age gap suited us. DD is old for her school year so if we'd waited til she was at school we would have had a 5 year gap, which has also worked v well for friends of mine. I think, just like with first babies, if you wait til you are ready you will never do it!

I always wanted two, but I definitely didn't have an urge for one until my eldest was about 3.5. I wanted her to be starting school before we had a 2nd because I didn't want the expense of nursery while on mat leave and wanted her to be independent enough. We started trying right around when she turned 4 and dc2 was born just after her 5th birthday, which worked out to be perfect timing.

@mindutopia @FreiasBathtub thanks for the replies! I think with my son I did feel so ready like I just knew that I wanted to be a mum. Now I am a mum maybe I dont feel that urgency because I have him (and he’s still needs me quite a lot with sleeping etc) but think in back of my mind when he is in school will feel like a good time (I just dont want tp wait too long and have issues but I’m only 33 so I guess hopefully will be ok)

I've just always known I'd like 2 children, a boy and a girl. For me 1 of each would be perfect. I know obviously there's no guarantees that will happen before anyone says anything, and obviously any child is a blessing and would be perfect.
We have 1 child, a boy. My husband and I have always said we wouldn't even think of trying for another until our 1st is settled at school. We wouldn't want another baby while our 1st was so young. A 5-6 year gap would be perfect for us. When he's settled at school I feel I'd be more able to give my 2nd baby the same attention I gave my 1st. He's 5, he started reception this September. Initially we may have thought about trying for another within the next year or 2, as we feel he will be properly settled by then. Obviously now with the situation we wouldn't even consider trying for another so soon. Will all depend on how things are and what happens.
My mum had her children 10 years apart though. There's 10 years between my brother and I, 10 years between my brother and sister, and 20 years between my sister and I. Which was so nice because I was able to me so much more involved.

@Froggles1 at 33 you have plenty of time! I had my first at 39 so I was in a bit of a rush to have my second.

I always knew I wanted 2, but sort of. Hanged my mind when DS1 was born. I was as he was approaching two that we decided we were ready.

@Fatas thank you x my mum had her second at 38 no probs so thats reassuring!

@happymummy12345 totally understand; I think the current situation with the pandemic has definitely made me want to wait aswell xx