Talk to me about Bigger age gaps

[JC17fj74]

DS will be 4 in May. We are thinking of trying for another baby at the end of the year, meaning even if it happens right away the age gap would be 5 years plus.
All of my friends have age gaps of 2/3 years and keep telling me to hurry up as 'you don't want a big gap between them'
Can people of DC with bigger age gaps talk to me about how they find it please.
Are the two DC close?
Was it harder having an older DC when second baby came along or easier?
Did you find it hard going back to the 'baby stage' after so long or easier because you knew what to expect?
Thank you

We have a 5 year age gap and it was fine until lockdown started. Trying to homeschool a 7 year old with a 2 year old has been very difficult. Before lockdown I enjoyed the 5 year age gap, my eldest had just started school when his brother was born so lots of time with the baby and I could do all the baby groups while my son was at school. My eldest was very gentle with the baby and understood while I (briefly) breastfed and liked to chat to the baby.

They do play together outside if we take them for a walk, so they will chase each other and like to sit together for stories. It has been difficult on days out and when we used to go to soft play as I always had to stay with the baby or have a pushchair with me. My 2 year old adores his big brother and I think the age gap has worked well for us but I am not sure if it will change as they get older.

I have a variety of gaps. Largest being 6 years. Both boys and get on great. Playing the big dbro was a role ds was born for!!

Not quite the same but my oldest two have a 10 year age gap and it was amazing. DD was a massive help and just adored her baby sister, far too old for any hint of jealousy either, just so proud of her and in love with her from the start. They're now 2 and nearly 12 and still absolutely adore each other - they have so much fun together, little DD absolutely worships her big sis (said her name before she said mama!) and vice versa - DD11 has photos of her ALL over her bedroom, on her phone lock screen etc, shes always asking can she bath her, put her down for her nap etc (and not always to get out of her home learning!). Obviously they don't have the same interests but they are able to enjoy days out like the beach, park, zoo etc together and I actually think its great that I pretty much HAVE to have 1-1 time with each of them - little DD would be a pain on a shopping trip for example or the cinema so just me and DD11 go which is lovely for both of us. Equally, DD11 would hate soft play so she stays home if we go and I get 1-1 time with DD2. I'm now pregnant with DD3 and quite nervous about the smaller gap!

My sons are 5.5 years apart. They are currently 19 and 14 and have each other lockdown hair trims today

There have been times when they've not got along eg oldest 13, youngest 8 would be tough but that would have been the same if they were 13 and 11. Some ages are tricky

I believe there's a study saying that to minimise sibling rivalry a difference of less than 18 months or more than 5 years is ideal.

When you have 2 it's always hard to balance the needs of the oldest and youngest but it would be hard whether they were 8 and 3 or 8 and 6 especially as younger ones tend to see themselves as equal to the older.

Ps my brother is 16 years younger than me - that's a big gap

6 years between my girls - they are now 10 and 16. I thought having a gap that big would mean no bickering - I was wrong! But there are big positives, the oldest is very protective of her little sister, the little one looks up to her big sister, and they do have a lovely relationship. There were big positives when they were younger too, I felt like I got one on one time with them both as babies, which you don't necessarily get with babies closer in age.

Not me personally but I know people who have 7 year plus age gaps. If I'm honest it's like they are a blended family - older child has zero interest in doing toddler related things and vice versa. Wasn't so bad during the baby years as could just take baby along but now older child at secondary school the gap feels like it has widened. Family days out always end up with one child getting bored and fed up and annoying the other

Range here with three and the two oldest gravitate to youngest. Maybe as she’s the only girl not sure.

But they give her a lot of attention and she is entertained by both.

We have 4.5 year age gap and it's been lovely. DD is 6 and DS is now 18 months. DD has been nothing but helpful and loving towards DS so far. She is so happy to be a big sister and enjoys playing with him and takes the time to try to do things she knows he can do and teach him other things she enjoys. Occasionally annoyed when DS doesn't understand the game and I expect they will fight in the future but it's worked really well. Not having two in nappies or needing a double buggy has been great.

Thanks for the replies it's good to hear of bigger age gaps and experiences