Lonely

[Brum145]

Not sure if this is the right place for this thread, but basically what the title says. I am in lockdown with my partner and two children under 3. I also have two step children. OH has worked all through lockdown so it’s been just me and the kids. He’s got into running whilst the gyms have been shut so goes on an evening and then usually does a long 2-3 hour run over the weekend. I am on maternity leave at the minute so not working. Just on my own with two, sometimes four children and the loneliness is wearing me down. I know lockdown is affecting us all, but I’m really struggling now and don’t really know what to do. I’m so grateful for so much, but just a bit and overwhelmed. No real point to this post other than needing to vent!

Reading between the lines it sounds like you haven't got a good balance between you and your OH. He needs to exercise at a time that isn't going to impact you and the family. If that means he has to get up early and go before he starts work then that is what he should do but it is selfish to go out running every evening and for half a day on the weekend (which is what it will be by the time he's been out and come back and showered and is ready for family life). I think you need to have a chat with him and explain that he has his work and your work during the day is looking after your small children. After work hour and at weekends the children and housework are shared responsibilities so if he want to run he has to do it at a time which won't impact his ability to spend time with the children and you.

@Brum145 I know the feeling I’ve got a 7 week old and 10 year old . A step child who mostly lives with us . My partner working most days . Lockdown proper got to me this time I’m so lonely I was looking forward to going baby clubs etc . Instead of been stuck at home.

It's shit times at the moment. I feel for you but hang in there it won't last forever. Can you ask your partner to have all the kids for an hour at the weekend so you can meet a friend outdoors for exercise for some adult company? Have you talked to your partner about how you're feeling? Do you get out at the weekend as a family for some walks etc? Having four kids to manage must be draining! I'm struggling with 1!

I agree with a previous post. Your partner should be exercising during a time when the kids are in bed (so waking early or going late). If he doesn't want that then you should be able to go for a walk alone for an hour or so a few times a week.
Yes, he is working, but it is just as hard looking after children all day as well as being the one up at night. I am on maternity with a 11 week old and a 18 month old and it is SO hard. I cope by getting my partner to take them for a little while in the evening(he has worked throughout the pandemic too) while I go upstairs and draw, or have a bath. You need down time too.