Please help, any advice would be great.

[LJJ90]

Hi, I'm going to try and write a long story as short as I can. Basically a single mum, father of baby didn't want to be involved until he was a month old and left during pregnancy. When he decided he wanted to be involved I allowed him to visit daily to build up a bond with the baby but always said starting jan I would give three set day that he chose to take him for a few hours only though as I am breast feeding. I said I would express enough for one bottle each time but don't want him gone for too long as I don't want it to effect my supply/babies want to do it.

He for one has now twice took him for what should of been 3/4 hours and not come back for 6/7 hours with a very distressed baby, and has also been turning up 1/2 hours late or cancelling all together.

This is now becoming quite hostile and I'm wondering is anyone has any experiance around this type of situation? How many days do dads get awarded if you go through mediation/ do I have to let him go while breastfeeding etc?

I am awaiting a solicitor to contact me but am becoming increasingly anxious so was wondering any thoughts while waiting.

Thank you so much x

I have re written this post 3 times... there is no way I would let him take a young baby out of the house if he is showing late and returning the baby distressed hours after the planned return.

Supervised short visits (1 hr) until all is set at court (or no visits at all). Honestly, you need to protect your baby not handing it freely to irresponsible idiots just because they have his genes.

@KarmaNoMore

I have re written this post 3 times... there is no way I would let him take a young baby out of the house if he is showing late and returning the baby distressed hours after the planned return.

Supervised short visits (1 hr) until all is set at court (or no visits at all). Honestly, you need to protect your baby not handing it freely to irresponsible idiots just because they have his genes.

Thank you, this is what I feel but have had a lot of pressure from all angles (including my mother) to let him take him. I wanted to try and avoid any drama but think I've shot myself in the foot really. Hoping the solicitor comes back ASAP x

You will face a lot of pressure, particularly from mothers who have had good or have decent husbands to father their kids. Your situation is different, you need to protect your baby until he shows he can be trusted to see for the best interests of his child. Disappearing for 6-7 hours with a breastfeeding baby is not putting baby’s interests first and that goes before saying that if he is stressing you over with his behaviour, you will find it more difficult to cope with the difficulties that every single mother faces.

Ring the solicitor again and stop the daily visits and taking baby out on his own.

He had a chance. Several by your post. And allowed his own dc to suffer.... Imo a judge can deem him suitable for contact. And by the time that happens your baby will likely be weaned... What a twat.

Yes he may be deemed suitable for contact but by then the baby won’t be so “fragile” or...

He may have proven to be not such a reliable father anyway by running away from responsibility for the second time.

Besides, what OP needs is a contact agreement that works in the benefit of the baby, at this time the dad is not able to identify what is not good for the baby but that will come with time (in most cases, some nrp just get worse with time)