Bubbles

[Newbee123]

Hi ladies ,I want to form a bubble with another relative to get some help with my newborn as my husband is going back to work soon. And I haven’t had any human contact since October ! As he was in NICU and he just came home. Would u say that’s wise or I should just stay at home for his sake ? I don’t want to feel like a bad mum but I’m not happy 😞

Can relative come to you?

@LIZS I know this sounds so selfish but I don't want to be home :( I keep remembering the awful NICU and home times where I sat there crying I wanted a different atmosphere I know it's selfish

I had a rough start to motherhood too, and if I could go back I would 100% form a bubble. Its allowed if you have a child under 1.

Congratulations on your new baby. I have a 6 months old and I am bubbled with a relative as my husband is out 7-6 5/6 days per week and it’s lonely! How would you get to the relative and have they got the stuff you will need? My auntie is my support bubble-she is single lives alone and recently retired so we benefit each other. She is very sensible, follows all the rules only goes out once a week for click and collect shopping so i feel safe driving to her house 5 miles away and spending the day there. However when baby was younger I found it easier her coming to me just because it meant I didn’t have to drag a load of stuff to hers and if I wanted to grab a nap or shower it was easier. You may feel different being in the house when someone is with you. FWIW I don’t think you are being selfish happy mum=happy baby, babies are very good at sensing mums emotions and looking after your mental health is absolutely important and not at all selfish.

I absolutely would. It sounds like you might have some PTSD/trauma around the birth and everything too? I would see if you can get any support with that too. These things don't tend to go away on their own.

@Bluesmartiesandpandapop have too experienced anything like this before ?

Is your DC still under consultant care, and have you had any advice on whether you need to take additional covid precautions?

Who are you thinking of forming a bubble with? Ideally it would be someone nearby so you can have contact little and often (as you need it). The less contact with people beyond your household the better, but your bubble becomes your household.

Obviously neither you nor they should bubble with anyone else at the same time.

I know some people who have and they had birth stories at the hospital which helped. I didn't and I wish I had. I now have a phobia of hospitals (not helpful with my two subsequent child births!). Social support helped massively, though. So I do think you're doing the right thing bubbling. Just that you may also need some counselling or might find doing a birth story helpful?

@Bluesmartiesandpandapop if I'm honest I have been crying nearly everyday and I'm getting bad anxiety about when my partner goes back to work. I just feel so alone ...

My little one is 4 months and we have a support bubble with my mum. It's been great to combat the loneliness and to be able to get a change of scenery by going to her house (she's a 30min drive away).
I've also found zoom calls with friends have helped break up the days.

My baby is 9 months old, born early April during the first lockdown.

I have formed a support bubble with my parents since it was allowed in December. I don't see them very often as they're 40 mins away, but just knowing I can ring my mum and ask her to come helps me to stay sane. My parents don't go anywhere except a walk around their local nature reserve and local shops, and we don't go anywhere except a walk around our village and one weekly trip to Tesco for my husband (lucky him!). We absolutely observe the rules on both sides of the bubble.

Form a bubble. New parents need support, that's why they expanded support bubbles to include new parents.

@Newbee123 absolutely form a bubble. Just think about who you are forming with. Are they ‘at risk’ or not etc. In terms of going there would they have everything you need. It’s a lot carting all the stuff you need for a baby with you. And having to think about it all. Would they be willing to get some bits in for you (even if you paid?!) my DS is 9 months and I formed a bubble with my mum as soon as I could in December. I have bits at her house like nappies formula clothes travel cot toys etc so that I don’t have to think about packing loads of things to take. Worth a thought.

Regarding your birth it sounds like you had a rough time. Do you want to talk about it? I had a traumatic delivery and would recommend pushing for a birth review. It really helped me just to talk it through.

You are not alone

I should have said I have/had PN anxiety after a horrible birth. A bubble would have made the early days so much for bearable. Can you speak to your GP about how you're feeling? I did CBT and it really helped.

I gave birth on the first day of the first lockdown in March, before bubbles were a thing. I remember how much I really just wanted my mum to pop round but she couldn't.

If you can, I absolutely would encourage you to form a bubble.