Loosing my fucking shit

[user1478639495]

Everywhere I look ppl seem to be winning, they have little timetables they're working to but of learning but of creativity bit of outdoor play and it's all going swell, I know for a fact that this isn't true for the most part I'm not that naive, but Christ when your sat in the bathroom hiding from your two little children crying and feeling an absolute failure, seeing that shit just kills you that little bit more inside.

I feel like a shit mother, today I can't seem to control my anger and frustration very well, my 3 year old is being more paitinet than me and my 1 year old seems to be mirroring my anger-no surprise there and again totally my fault.

I'm just shit never been a great mummy seem to struggle and have to really try to be fun full of beans I work so hard at it, but add lockdown isolation and a perfect daddy to compare to, it's hard going.

Just need to vent.

I didn't want to read and run. I definitely don't think you're anything but a good mum. We all have the hardest job in the world and most dads get to go to work and leave it to us. They don't see the tantrums and they get the simplest of pleasures like 5 minutes to go to the loo on your own.

Try to not let this get to you. No mum is perfect. We all just cope as best as we can. Take a deep breath and try distracting them with something to give yourself some calm. That or take them for a walk and they might tire themselves out. My LO loves the park but unfortunately the weather hasn't let us do this much.

Remember there's no such thing as perfect mum. You're doing a great job and your kids are lucky to have you!

1 and 3 is a hard time. Is perfect daddy there right now or is he off having a jolly? (unless he works in a coal mine, I consider every activity- including work- to be a jolly compared to being at home with a 1 and 3yo).

If he is there let him take over. If not CBeebies for a while. You have a coffee. You are not a shit mum

TV is your friend today. Can you all just sit down with it on? Pop some toys on the sofa for the little one and don't do anything at all?

It's so hard at times, you are not a shit Mum. You wouldn't be posting here or thinking you were a shit Mum if you were.

Lots of snacks, tv and cuddles, just take each hour as it comes.

Fellow mum with 1 and 3 ye old here 😐

You are just human! And doing your best during a pandemic its really hard.

I survive with ceebeebies netflix kids and coffee 🤭 when the lo sleeps I try and do some drawing with my eldest (other time 1yr old "eats" paper 🥴)

By 4pm i'm close to being mentally unstable until DH rescues me.

Hugs to you x take it easy..

It’s so hard when kids are that age. I know I wouldn’t have coped.

Mine are a bit older and in school part time (but I’m now worried about losing their school places because I’m teaching from home while DH goes out to work- he’s not a key worker but is on skeleton staff to keep his organisation running. If he’s home we can’t pay the bills)

I thought we were more prepared going into this lockdown, but that lasted a couple of days. I’ve lowered my expectations with homeschool and feel really guilty about it. I’m trying to up the reading and stories and keep the tv off, but again, I’m sure it won’t last.

We have no rota. I’m avoiding crafts and creative play because I haven’t got the energy to do it and then clean up after.

I’m making fresh air more of a priority.

Hoping we’ll feel better after we’ve been out after lunch.

Oh thank you each and everyone of you for being so nice and kind to me. It really means a lot. I'm so glad people suggest cebeebies, I've always tried to have the tv off by around 9am and won't allow it back on until 4pm I've always felt awful if I haven't got them outside for fresh air (bit tricky this morning with the rain) honestly today so far, the tv was on until 11, my poor 3 year old, he's been so good all morning asking me to play with him, asking me to do this and that my 1 yr old has been grizzly, both were up way too early today again. I did get my act together about 11.30 and got some crafts out, the 1 yr old was grumpy as hell so he went for a nap, the 3 yr old started to look like a zombie after so much tv....then I felt really shit, so got him at the table we started to do space things like paint a planet then he started to get grumpy and he just look so sad 😞 turns out he wanted a cuddle and he too fell asleep, they've both been asleep now for almost two hours!!! I've prepared the tea for tonight, that's good, but I'm still feeling like a totally useless shit mum, he probably feels so sad cuz I'm so crap, I must be showing my feelings too much and he's getting it, that's not fair on him. God it's a vicious circle.

I am willing myself to get them out for a little walk later but the thought of it just feels me with dread, terrible.

Perfect daddy works as a plumber, he's great he really is but he seems to pick up areas where I feel I'm failing. The baby needs changing which I'm well aware of, he has to tell before he goes out the door like I'm not going to do it as soon as he's left! I can see in his face he's looking at me this morning wondering why I'm grumpy, why I'm not ecstatic to be up nice and early with the kids. When ever he's around he's fun full of energy happy! They love it and it's great. Me on the other hand, all they get is this exhausted stress mum and I hate it.

I am trying so so hard but today it's really
Got to me. They do go to nursery, I've booked them in an extra day the next two weeks purely because I know they'll be happier there than stuck with me here.

This is a shit feeling. I've always struggled a little bit I blame lockdown, tried to meet a friend at the park today she didn't wanna know, she's probably having a tough time too we all are, but every bit of support has been shit down and when you can't talk to your husband about it as you know
You'll be deemed a failure and especially by his mother, it starts to eat you up.

Sorry everyone I am going off on one here.

I send you all lots of strong positive vibes, I'm sure your all doing really really well and cracking it, sending much love and thank you again for your lovely comments, it doesn't sound it but the really have helped xxxxx

Get off Facebook!
Get cebeebies on!

Have a cup of tea and share some biscuits with the kids.

Cosy up and enjoy the lovely shows on cebeebies.

Plus get an appointment with your GP. Some meds might be helpful to help you cope.
Overall be kind to yourself

I feel the same as you, I really do. I'm pregnant and have a toddler to look after and am just completely exhausted.

Everything is closed because of Covid, the only "activity" I can do with her at the moment is go for a walk but most of the time it's freezing and raining and she doesn't even seem to enjoy it that much either. I see parents who don't allow screen time and really admire them but I honestly don't know how to avoid TV during lockdown.

I think we can only do our best at the moment, keep plodding on and remind ourselves that our toddlers won't actually remember this time anyway (hopefully 😋) x

First up you could be depressed. Certainly sounds like me!

Secondly, watching TV and playing by himself is good for the 3 year old. You're trying to do too much. Great tip i read was get some toys he hasn't played with for a while, put them on the floor and sit with him while he plays. Don't play with him, don't try to lead him into a game. Just sit there with a nice cup of tea and engage if he shows you things. He feels like you're playing with him but you aren't really. Take the pressure off yourself. If you were a shit mum you wouldn't care.

Forget the house work. Super dad can do it. Of course he can be happy fun dad. He's not the one taking care of them all the time. You'd be happy fun mum if you weren't looking after them all the time too.

Do you always feel like this or could it be time of the month creeping up on you ? I get really bad PMT sometimes
Yesterday I was told that daddy is their favourite parent. Daddy who has spent most of their lives away working, daddy who drinks a bottle of wine every day, daddy who doesn’t food shop/clean/wash etc. Sometimes I dream of leaving them all to it as daddy is so great 😡

Gosh op it is so tough, and I think you may have to reset your expectations of what is possible every day.

Do you have an outdoor garden? If so, wellies and all in one rain suits are your friend. Muddy puddles etc rather than the walks every day.

Forget the timetables (I don't understand why you would need one with a baby and toddler but anyway)

Nurses and doctors was a favourite at this age, all you have to do is lie down and close your eyes and they can fix you.

Make a tent and let them sleep inside it, you can join them.

It is tiring op. No one is really having a 'swell' time they are just finding ways to motivate themselves to get out of bed each morning too.

This will really pass, and your dc will benefit much more from a chilled out atmosphere and a little more TV - your dp/dh needs to do much more to help. Have that discussion tonight.

Bring a mum is bloody hard work, get that tv on, grab a coffee and biscuit and just sit and have a cuddle with them on the sofa, they'll love it and you can have a chill. Seriously it's lock down, be a bit nicer to yourself. We're all winging it 😂😂 xx