Breastfeeding/sleep 2 year old hell

[herechickchickchickchick]

I’m at my wits end. My daughter is nearly 2. She has been an awful sleeper since birth, she was still waking 8-10 times at 20 months old. She was exclusively breast fed. Recently diagnosed with epilepsy it told this wasn’t why she wasn’t sleeping at night.

I did gentle sleep training and night weaning at 20 months which helped greatly and she only woke 1-2 times at night. I’ve had to repeat sleeping training twice more but she is now screaming for over 2 hrs for boob at night when she wakes even though I’m right next to her to comfort her. She hasn’t been fed to sleep for four months, but I do sit with her until she falls asleep.

If I give in and give her the boob she starts waking more and more until we are back to hourly wakings. If I don’t give it to her she cries and screams for hours even though I’m right there. Last night was 2.5 hrs. She woke at 2am, screamed for hours, I caved in at half four, asleep by five then she was up again at 5:45 fed her back to sleep and then she was up at 7.

I need sleep, I’m done with breastfeeding. I’m starting to resent her. I have done everything possible these past two years to help her sleep, seen multiple health visitors. Everyone keeps saying it’s normal but I don’t know anymore who is going through what I am.

My mental health is suffering, my work is suffering, my husband works nights so can’t help. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know if this is a breastfeeding issue or a sleep issue or a combination of both.

She has a nap on the afternoon for an hour or sometimes drops this one. She has plenty of exercise. Eating is hit and miss but she’s a healthy weight. She has a good bedtime routine, warm room, red night light, teddy and a drink in with her, she’s not teething, she has a snack before bed, she has a noise machine on.

She is fine during the day (terrible twos have started) and lack of sleep doesn’t seem to affect her, but it’s killing me.

Help

Where does your LO sleep? We found my DS wouldn't sleep unless he was right beside us so we set up his cot as an extension of our bed. He instantly slept so much better and now sleeps in his own room. Sometimes he wakes and comes and climbs in but that's not often anymore.

When we moved him back into his room and he woke during the night he had a cup of milk and a bit of banana. It didn't last long but he naturally stopped waking up.

I hope you find something that works for you and your family.

Other than the epilepsy I could have written your post about my DS 23 months! I did the jay Gordon method also about 8-9 months ago with some success, but we have a few weeks of better sleep, then back several steps! I have no magical solution, just solidarity! I know how you feel, my friend’s babies sleep, they complain about one night waking.....aargh, that would be bliss!
We are still feeding to sleep but that’s the only feed now since jay Gordon method.
You sound amazing for sticking with it, not sure I’d have managed 2.5 hours of stress in the middle of the night! DS has been in my bed from about 3am every night this week as I’ve caved!

My dc is 21/2 and has been an absolute nightmare to wean. Not helped by dairy allergies initially but mostly because I'm ridiculously knackered and will do anything for an easy life half the time it seems. We've had a lot of luck the last few weeks introducing cows milk in a soft spouted sippy cup, a step 'back' cup wise, but I thought more booblike than a free flow or straw. She's taken to it really well.

I spoke about how my milk would be going soon for a few weeks beforehand then introduced the cup instead at her usual times. The first bed time was a bit tricky for 5 minutes and there was the odd wobble here and there for the first few days. But really barely a murmur. I haven't yet tackled the over nights as it's a guaranteed way to get us all back to sleep but I don't want to confuse her so am going to offer her some milk in the cup tonight and see how it goes. I thought if I started with day times first it would be more familiar. Don't know if this would work for you both but maybe worth a go.

Hi OP

I know your pain. My youngest is only 8.5mo but he is very much like your little lady. His ability to sleep relies heavily on a boob being at constant reach.

He, however is not my first like this and I learned the long hard way that nothing really works. All the methods have some sort of effect for a time but nothing is ever a fix.

I just made the whole damn thing so much worse for myself trying all these methods and enduring the heartbreak and sense of personal failure when they yielded no results.

This time round I've just accepted my fate. I do what i can to make it more bearable.. I take breaks when they're offered by all those in my support bubble. I go to bed early and he sleeps with me, I sleep topless and just let him have at it.

He WILL grow out of it. The other child did, around his third birthday. He just became so busy with life and nursery that He just forgot about it and was so stimulated in the day he was ZONKED at night.

Lastly... The older child that had these issues interestingly also has epilepsy and this baby is showing some early indicators.

Might be worth a second opinion.

I haven't used it but there's a book called 'nursies when the sun shines' that often gets recommended on an extended breastfeeding group I'm in - lots of parents have found it helpful for night weaning.