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Advice/ tips needed to get 6mo to sleep

4 replies

Lilyx18 · 08/01/2021 16:47

This is my first time posting but I’m at a loss with what to do, I would be really grateful of any tips and advice anyone has. Sorry if this is really long...

My child is 6 months old, born by c section & ive recently found out I’m pregnant again. DH and I were planning to put ds into his own bedroom at around the 6 month mark anyway, but now I’ve found out I’m pregnant we have decided to try and do this ASAP. I’ve stupidly got into the pattern of cuddling him to sleep, he slept in his next2me cot up until about a week ago, but I always would pick him up and comfort him throughout the night. I struggled with bad back pain in my last pregnancy and getting comfortable in bed etc, so there’s no way I can keep bringing him into the bed with me anymore (also aware it’s a bad habit to get into anyway) as he gets bigger, and as I get bigger.

So, he’s now in his own room in his cot - I’ve kept his bedtime routine the same, the room is as dark as possible with blackout curtains, he has a white noise machine. At the moment as soon as I leave the room or stop touching his face (he loves holding/touching you) he cries his eyes out. I have tried singing gently to him, and holding his hand until he falls asleep. I have tried laying him down and leaving the room, waiting outside but coming back in when he cries to either put his dummy back in or just lay him on his back again. (He’s started rolling on to his front where he’s reaching his arms out for me). I know it’s really important to be consistent but I don’t know what to be consistent in doing if that makes sense? Today was the worst he’s been and I had a mini break down this morning which I feel so guilty for allowing him to see me cry. I’ve stopped taking anti depressants at the advice of GP as apparently they can be harmful in the first trimester, but I’m just so emotional and then this on top I can’t bare it. I don’t run into his room as soon as he makes the slightest noise, but I don’t leave him to cry either. Should I just carry on with what I’m doing until it works? Or is there something else I should be doing? Or am I being silly trying to do everything at once when I’m already feeling tearful and emotional right now. Maybe I’m expecting too much of DS as it’s only been a week? He seems to be getting clingier as the week has gone on. DH is very supportive but he does work lots of hours so a lot of the naps/bedtimes are down to me. Last night DH took him to bed, put him down, left the room and he was asleep within minutes no crying or anything?! Which makes me think I’m doing something wrong? I honestly couldn’t believe it lol! Especially after I’d said how tough it’s been. DH says I should just pick him up, to be honest I did end up doing that today because he was really crying and inconsolable... but I don’t want to undo all the hard work of settling him in his cot by keep picking him up. Also It’s not a case of DC not being tired/ overtired I don’t think because I would say I’m pretty good at recognising his sleepy signs and also paying attention to timings etc.

Anyway, thanks for reading all this if you got this far! I just really want to get him into a proper daytime nap routine and sort his sleeping out - please help! X

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
kwaziseyepatch · 08/01/2021 16:57

Hiya,
Sorry to hear you're finding things tough but congratulations on the new pregnancy.

I have a nearly 8m DS, at 5 months I spent ages getting him to self settle in his cot. The work has paid off but it doesn't really help with the night wakings or extend the naps. I resettle about 1/2 of naps that need to be longer and he wakes at night more than his older sister who was cuddled to sleep until she was 2. I think her having her own room definitely made a difference but I still brought her into bed with me at about 5am and I think the same will happen again. So I think keep going with the self settling but he will improve with time anyway

crazychemist · 08/01/2021 17:46

A week is quite short.

Personally I didn’t do any sleep training with DD1 and was quite happy to feed and cuddle her to sleep, so definitely not judging you for allowing “bad habits”. But I think with any kind of training you expect it to take longer than a week for them to adjust. The gentle sleep book recommends allowing up to 6 weeks before you decide something hasn’t worked - can you manage that?

If you’re off antidepressants, and you sure you want to do this right now? It sounds like it will be tough for you, and in your shoes I’d stick with the status quo while your body adjusts.

Congratulations on your new pregnancy.

mumneedsshuteye · 09/01/2021 02:19

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Stealthtoast · 10/01/2021 00:24

I don't think it matters too much what you pick, just pick an approach that feels right to you from the sleep guides etc, agree it with DH, then crucially write it down and both stick to it for 3 days. We found that before we did that we kept thinking it hadn't worked and chopping and changing.
It's easiest to do whatever it is for naps first, when you're more awake, then tackle bedtime. Good luck!

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