Worried 11 month old is developmentally behind

[Beaubeagle]

My 11m old DS will be 1 in two weeks. He's a very happy little boy who eats and sleeps incredibly well but I'm really concerned that he seems really behind developmentally. We don't have a health visitor due to Covid and I'm worried sick. I'd just like to see if anyone has any experience of this please?

He CAN:

Crawl and bum shuffle (since 6m)
Cruise along furniture
Babble 'Dada' and 'Nana' (nothing else)
Shake his head
Raise his arms to 'so big'

He is constantly on the go and never still. He loves exploring and 'playing' with his toys. He responds to his name and laughs lots.

He CANT:

Understand 'where's mummy' 'where's daddy' 'where's car' etc
Point to things
Copy sounds
Babble anything other than the above
Stack two bricks or cups
He hates being cuddled and doesn't like sitting on our knee although he does raise his arms to be picked up.

He also grabs faces constantly and hurts people which he finds funny.

I know that he's probably not had enough 1:1 time with me because of lockdown (home schooling) and I'm working from home too but I do spent time playing with him. He loves books and we read every day for a few minutes as well as playing.

I'm losing sleep thinking about his development now and keep thinking is he autistic?

Please could anyone share any experiences or advice. I do have other children but they are older and I can't remember where they were at this stage.

Google the ASQ developmental stages questionnaire for 12 month olds. That's what the HVs use here. Bear in mind that your baby doesn't have to be doing everything on the list in order to be normal, but it will give you a rough idea. He sounds on track to me.

We had a HV appointment over the phone for 12 mo check. Is that an option for you?

OP he sounds perfectly on track to me except the hating cuddles part. I wouldn't worry about hurting as they have no concept of causing pain but he will be interested in the reaction!

My youngest is exactly the same age, will be 1 in 2 weeks. He plays, is taking little steps, babbles loads but he's not doing a few of those things you mentioned and I'm not concerned at all. This is my third baby and they've all been similar and are perfecly fine. Middle DC was way ahead physically and had been walking for ages by 1, first child wasn't ahead physically but was with interpesonal interaction and talking.

Honestly they are all different and the only thing that might be an issue is the cuddles but even that really depends on what you mean by it and could have other causes. Best to give your HV a call if you are concerned :) have you had your review with them?

I should also add, he can't clap (he could previously but doesn't now) and has never waved bye bye.

It's more the questions that he can't understand that worry me. Surely he should understand 'where's mummy' by now? 😞

He sounds on track to me.
I have older children, but we were hyper aware of ds developmentally as he was clearly missing all the milestones.

He sounds totally fine to me. My friend had a little boy who was always on the go and an active, happy baby. He also did the face squishing thing. Thinking about it I have known quite a few babies like this, -all boys. It sounds as though he wants to be doing things rather than being cuddled, lots of toddlers are like this.
Nothing you have said particularly suggests that he could have ASD.

He sounds absolutely perfect. Don't worry.

He sounds just fine to me.
Many (almost) toddlers are impatient with being held.
Try a bit more chatting to him, keeping it very simple 3/4 word phrases. There is often what is called a ‘language explosion’ in toddler years. (You can be doing some thing else at the same time eg sort laundry saying Look, Daddy’s socks...Joeys socks...’
If he grabs your face, stop him firmly saying ‘no’. If he keeps on, move away for a few minutes.
I know it’s hard, with homeschooling too.

Sounds perfectly normal

DS is exactly 11 months old and can walk, claps when he's happy and feed himself.

Toys (or anything really) get thrown or bashed.
He doesn't wave.
He doesn't babble - he makes noises that sound a bit like a dinosaur though.
He has absolutely no idea what things like "Where's mumny" mean, but is clearly excited to see me if he's been at nursery.
Literally bites and face squishes all the flaming time 🙄

We had his 1 year check at Christmas (so 10.5 months) and the health visitor was really happy with his development.

I honestly wouldn't over think it if I was you.

My 12 month old can’t say any words and also doesn’t do any of the things in your ‘can’t’ list. My health visitor wasn’t concerned at all at her 10 month check up.

Thank you all so much for replying. Maybe I am overthinking thinks. I just feel like he's missed out on so much this year with lockdown. I'll keep going with him and maybe call the local HV service in a few weeks just for reassurance. He's such a happy little boy and I love him so much. I'd just hate for him to get left behind if I can help him now.

I started a thread about this earlieR OP my DS is 13 months and I was a bit worried.
All posters who replied were reassuring.

The fact that he’s doing so big and saying dada and nana sounds great! My DS isn’t doing either of those things.

He also doesn’t point yet and our health visitor said it’s not really a concern til 18-20 months and even then it’s just to start referral processes incase as they take ages.

DS Loves climbing on me and giving “kisses” (placing his open mouth over my cheek or lips) but doesn’t sit to be cuddled for long at all unless he’s feeling poorly - he’s got too many things to read or bash around or explore.

Does he understand anything like “dinner time” or “milk” or “all gone!” Etc? He might be understanding more than you think

@Beaubeagle How is your son doing now?

Hi @BarbiesWorld @Beaubeagle how did your little ones come on?

Hey! I'm Barbie after a name change.

Honestly? He's lovely. His speech took a looooong time to come in and he must've been 3 and a half before he was making enough sense and knowing enough words for other people to understand him.

He went through a biting and hitting phase when his understanding was miles ahead of his speech out of frustration which was hard and even know, he can really struggle to regulate his emotions.

Sleep is still hit and miss because he takes so bloody long to put to bed it's a joke.

I'm fairly confident that there's some neurodivergency with him and have an appointment with the GP next week to get the ball rolling.

However! He's the sweetest, funniest, cheekiest boy I've ever met. He's got that something about him which makes everyone he meets love him and his gross motor skills are something else. The boy can climb a tree like no one I've ever seen and can pick up most sports within minutes. No interest in drawing/writing but adores his books and anything number related.

Basically, he's pretty exactly where you'd expect a 4 year old to be, with the a few extra social and emotional needs than average.

How's your boy doing now??