9-year-old DS tantrums

[HawaiianFlowers]

Really stressed with my DS behaviour. He’s just turned 9. He’s never been prone to tantrums (once growing beyond toddlerhood) but now if he gets in a big strop he will storm up to his room and starts roaring and screaming and shouting. We live in a mid terrace with thin walls which makes it worse. It’s been going on for the past 6 months and happens every so often. I don’t know why all of a sudden he’s behaving and reacting like this. He got into a huge strop today with DH and stormed up upstairs and started tantrumming like a toddler, throwing all his things on the wall and shouting over and over at the top of his voice.

How on earth do I deal with this?

Anyone dealt with this before?

He sounds massively frustrated and angry, like literally hundreds of thousands of people right now. Talk to him when he's calm about how he's feeling and better ways to express himself.

I would agree with the previous poster plus at this age hormones do start to come in. My dd is 9 and although she doesn’t have tantrums she does get weepy and in her words “stressed and angry and I don’t know why”. I tend to take her for a walk or just snuggle down with her to calm her. I appreciate tantrums are much more difficult.

Yeah I’m thinking it probably could be linked to everything going on as it’s only been the past six months and completely out of character for before then, he used to play up a little bit and get in the occasional sulk but all within the ‘norm’ and easily managed.

How can I teach him to manage his emotions better?

My 10yo is exactly the same. He's normally happy, laid back and even tempered, but every now and again he has huge tantrums with shouting, door slamming, stomping off.

I think it's a mixture of hormones, frustration at lockdown and not being able to see friends, do activities etc.

We tend to give him a few minutes to calm down, explain how it's not acceptable to shout, talk about feelings, emotions, frustrations and then find positive things to talk about and look forward to.

Any particular triggers?

Good ways to recognise emotions are using thing like the 5 point scale. (Google and loads of info)

Get him to recognise the changes in how his body and mind feels before he gets overwhelmed.

Find him a safe space he can go to when he feels like this. Have a bean bag/blanket/ maybe some fiddle toys/ pen and paper if he wants to write draw or doodle his feelings.
He may prefer a tent of somewhere he can climb into.

It's all about him recognising he's getting angry and being able to seek support and solace before it spills over.