Motherhood sucks

[Drowninggg]

I’m having a miserable time, literally feel suffocated especially since the new lockdown has been declared.

I have a 7yo and an 18mth old. LO is difficult and such hard work, I feel like she’s the equivalent of 2/3 children.

As a result of this I feel my 7yo slipping away, I barely know her. I don’t get one on one time with her unless LO naps which is around just over an hour a day. In that hour I find myself picking up on housework, sorting lunch out and doing a quick tidy up, or I just make a cuppa and slouch on the sofa and BREATHE!

I’m struggling, I know you’ll tell me it gets easier and I’d believe you if this was a non Covid world. I feel myself sinking lower and lower into a dark hole.

The first lockdown in March last year was testing - I got through it thinking it’s temporary and it will probably never happen again. Now here we are with the schools closed again and pretty much home bound.

Nurseries are still open. Can you send the 18 month okd to nursery some days so that you have some time to rest and one-to-one time with your 7 year old? You may find that nursery improves her behaviour also, as she'd benefit from interaction with children her age and it may tire her out!

Get your toddler's dad to take her for a good chunk of the day at least once a week.

Feeling the same way about motherhood. It's horrid.

Are you ok OP? You not coming back to your thread is worrying me a bit.

I was in the same position as you with same ages in March. I missed my 7 year old so much, I just found the enjoy anything with her as the toddler was so draining and demanding. I couldn’t do some schooling because the toddler wouldn’t allow it. There is NOTHING that entertains an 18 month old independently for more than 3 minutes.

It does get easier. Not a lot but a bit. I always feel so guilty, because I love my toddler soooo much , she was planned and she’s so amazing. But having this age gap has definitely put a strain in my relationship with my older daughter. Instead of actively being part of her life, I can only take her to places and watch whilst entertaining a toddler. It’s hard to be ‘present’ for her.