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Parenting

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Complicated situation with ex. Looking for advice.

5 replies

Scorpio2410 · 05/01/2021 11:51

Hi! I share the custody of my 6 year-old daughter with my ex husband, although he decides to see her every 15 days, just on the weekends, and it might be subject to changes if he has other things to do. Last year, he only spent 49 days out of 365. He pays for child maintenance, although he gets the child benefit because I am not British (I am not entitled to get it). During the first lockdown, he disappeared for two monts and now with this new one, he has already said that he wouldn't come again. She loves to see him and wants to spend more time with him, so I sent him a proposal for him to get more involved in the parenting but he declined, because he has to work (not a keyworker, just works from home now). The thing is that he has a girlfriend now and he is staying over at her place during the week. However, he denied he is in a new relationship when I asked him to meet her, now that my daughter has met her. I can't count on him to look after her if I need to work and now that the schools are closing again, I get to be in charge of this responsibility on top of the fact that I need to make money to survive as I don't get public benefits. So, I am asking for advice/support... Is there any kind of legal action I could take to make him responsible of his parental duties? I ask this, because I have searched and only see "rights", but what happens when the parent doesn't meet the duties he/she is supposed to meet? I appreciate your responses! Thanks!

OP posts:
RedMarauder · 05/01/2021 11:53

The quick answer is "No"

RedMarauder · 05/01/2021 12:06

The child lives with you and he spends time with her, so while you both have parental responsibility for her if he doesn't want to see her then you can't force him.

The only way you can get him to see her is by you both using your charms on him. If you can get your daughter to video call e.g. Facetime him without you standing in the background he may be more inclined to have her.

VimFuego101 · 05/01/2021 12:29

No, you cannot force him to have the child more than he wants to. The only leverage you have is that the less he has the child overnight, the more child support he will pay.

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mindutopia · 05/01/2021 21:22

You are eligible for child benefit, even if you are not British, as long as you are here legally. I have been receiving child benefit for 8 years and have only recently been granted my citizenship.

Scorpio2410 · 05/01/2021 22:29

Thanks for all your answers!
Unfortunately, even though I am legal and have right to work, my visa clearly states that I am not entitled to public funds, and that also includes the child benefit. He gets it and doesn't give it to her, because he is already paying child maintenance, so he is allowed to keep this money (I've asked this in the Child Benefit office).

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