Responding to 6 week old

[Paris2019]

Hi, my LB is 6 weeks and still very much in 4th trimester territory.. I'm bf-ing and feed at least every 2 hours - for hunger, comfort, whatever he needs. I'm very much of the mindset I just need to respond to him at the mo, but as a result I'm getting v little sleep. OH usually takes him for 2-3 hours in morning and / or evening so that I can get a block of sleep. However, it is hit and miss as to whether OH can get LO to settle, and if I can hear him crying my instinct is to react and go to him. OH tells me I should ignore him and prioritise my sleep and he insists on persevering with settling him, but I just can't bear to hear him cry esp if I can stop it my putting him to the boob.

What's the best thing to do here? Respond to LO's needs as much as possible evenif it exacerbates my sleep deprivation, or let OH persevere with settling him even if it means him crying and being distressed for a period?

Noise cancelling headphones would help

Really really, let your DH do it.

You need sleep - both for you, and because you will be a better mum if you're rested.

Your DH needs to learn to settle the baby or you will be stuck doing it alone for months.

LO might be crying, but he's being cuddled by someone who loves him, he's warm and he's fed. That's all that a baby needs.

You need to rest and also trust your dh. My baby is 3 months now (she's my second) and my dh would take her while I slept in those early weeks and i always just asked him to wake me if she really was Really unsettled and he did just that. Sometimes he'd wake me after just an hour, apologising saying she just wouldn't calm but most of the time, I'd get a nice little chunk of sleep and she'd just slept on him. Also I sleep with ear plugs! Even at night with the baby next to me - I can still hear if she wakes but I don't get disturbed by every little shuffle and grunt!

The only thing I'd say at 6 weeks old is to just pick the right time to rest. A lot of babies cluster feed in the evenings and can be unsettled during that time so it might not be the best time for a nap. But if it's your only option, certainly give it a try.

Also at 6 weeks, you are very close to turning a corner sleepwise. I found both mine started doing longer stretches after a 6 week growth spurt and by 10-12 weeks we were starting to fall into a natural pattern of naps and sleep and I was getting much more rest (I'm EBF too btw). Better sleep times are ahead!

I have a 4 month old and I was the same when she was that age. My husband couldn't settle her like I could and I couldn't bare to hear her cry. There was no way I could relax and go to sleep. I'd even hear her crying when she wasn't actually crying!! You can trust your dh like the others say but that can be easier said than done. I think you need to trust your instincts. Things will get better as your baby gets older. Sorry my advice isn't great but just know that what you're feeling is normal xx

Get DH to take the baby out of the house in a sling.

The two of them have to learn their own ways of hanging out together! Your DH will never have boobs, but he still has to be able to settle his own child, so give him a chance to figure it out.

Your DH is right. I had the same feelings when DD was little but rest is so important. Has your DH tried skin to skin? DD also preferred being held while we were standing rather than sitting, so that might be one to try! This is the age where DD started getting colicky, so sometimes nothing would settle her, but as PP said, your baby is being held and comforted, no neglected. Get some rest, and congratulations!

DH used to take DS out with the dogs in the carrier. And would be happily cuddled for an hour or so while I slept, be brought for BF then taken again so I could go back to sleep while DH did nappy/ winding/ more walking round being puked on etc

Thank you all for the responses! I think i know I'm being a little irrational and my DH is great with DS so I just need to chill a bit - I'm just a bit of a control freak! I just struggle to relax enough to sleep as the moment I hear a cry, I'm alert. Also @ASomers I am totally the same - I sometimes think i can hear the baby crying but it's actually in my mind!!

One of my concerns was that DH is quite stubborn and would rather persevere and end up getting frustrated while trying to settle baby rather than admit defeat and bring him to me... so I've got him to reassure me that he will bring him to me if he just won't settle or is distressed.

@Paris2019 I keep thinking I hear DS when it's actually the radiator valves turning on/ off

DS is 3y6mo now.... It takes time, apparently a lot of time