Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Feeing guilty about dummy 😭

21 replies

Terracottasaur · 04/01/2021 20:25

I’ve just started giving my 4.5 week old a dummy to help soothe him because he has terrible reflux. I don’t know why but I feel really guilty, like I’ve let him down by giving him an aid that lots of advice says you should avoid.

Am I being an idiot? Are dummies very bad? Should I be trying something else instead? Or do I just need to get over myself?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Ticklemynickel · 04/01/2021 20:29

Dummies are great - they help soothe, aid sleep and recommended to reduce the risk of SIDS. Don't feel guilty.

WomenAndVulvas · 04/01/2021 20:30

Yes, you do need to get over yourself Smile
Why do you feel guilty about giving him something that soothes him, calms him, and gives him the huge pleasure of sucking, which is the thing babies that age love most? You're not doing anything wrong, you're doing the best you can.

Pillowcase123 · 04/01/2021 20:30

I believe it only becomes a problem once teeth get involved. Dentists usually recommend getting rid from 12 months

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

0-3 months old Babies & sleep Families General health
clpsmum · 04/01/2021 20:30

Do whatever it takes to keep you and baby happy and don't feel guilty. There are so many worse things you could be doing than giving a dummy. Being a parent is hard please don't give yourself a hard time over it

Somethingvague · 04/01/2021 20:31

Dummies are amazing, especially for a reflux baby! If the reflux starts to improve then you can always stop giving it, if you feel bothered. If you take it away early then they will very, very quickly forget it ever existed.

clpsmum · 04/01/2021 20:32

Ps if it's any consolation I couldn't give me dc a dummy I tried but the dog kept nicking it!!! We would be out a walk with people laughing and I'd look down and dog walking along with dummy in! I must've been a laughing stock!!It was much harder to try and get the dog to stop taking a dummy than it would've been a child!!!!!

CovidCarol · 04/01/2021 20:33

Bloody hell, dummies saved me from my four when they were little.
Feel no guilt, OP Thanks

campion · 04/01/2021 20:35

Answer to your first three questions is no. Answer to fourth is yes.
Don't give it another thought. If it works you're definitely doing something right.

Personal choice and all that . Some people will try persuade you not to use them but they were a lifesaver for me and mine and you can get rid of dummies eventually. Thumb sucking not so much.

FippertyGibbett · 04/01/2021 20:36

Dummies are great, get several so you’ve always got a clean one.

8lue8ird · 04/01/2021 20:36

You stopped your sad baby from being sad, you did a wonderful thing

RedLimoncello · 04/01/2021 20:37

Dummies are amazing. My first took one and it was a godsend. My second didn't despite all my efforts and by heck did it make life harder in those early months.

Hang the guilt. There'll be plenty more of it waiting for you for other shit down the line!

Lucy830 · 04/01/2021 20:38

My midwife and health visitor recommended using one to reduce SIDS risk. Don’t feel guilty, it’s a comforter.

Dogsandbabies · 04/01/2021 20:38

What advice says dummies are not recommended? On the contrary the Lullaby trust sites them as a positive resource to reduce SIDS risk.

Wearywithteens · 04/01/2021 20:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

custardbear · 04/01/2021 20:42

They have a role and they're really good for
Some Babies.
Just make sure you keep an eye on the cues to stop using them, my son had one til a little 9 months when he kept spitting it out so we didn't give it to him again, that was fine - self weaning . My best friends DD Had hers til she was 5 - it was hideous and she dribbled everywhere 🤢 thankfully she's much older now and nothing wrong with teeth or speech

modge · 04/01/2021 20:42

I gave my reflux-y baby a dummy at 4 weeks and it really helped. By about 12 weeks he discovered how to suck his thumb and gave up on the dummy. When his first tooth cut at 7 months, he immediately stopped sucking his thumb too!

With both dummy and thumb I really worried about the long term impact/getting rid and in the end, both helped and neither were an issue.

plg21 · 04/01/2021 20:43

Both mine had dummies (and also reflux). I wasn't a big fan but there was a free dummy in a pack of something baby related. My son was screaming loudly, I popped in the freebie dummy in desperation and...blessed silence. I soon got over my objection to them after that.

I didn't find it a problem weaning either child off them down the line nor did it create any teeth problems. So, I'd say don't feel guilty..

Original poster
Terracottasaur · 04/01/2021 20:47

Thank you all so much - I needed to hear all of this. Not going to beat myself up any more, since it makes my baby happier!

OP posts:
letsmakethetea · 04/01/2021 20:47

Dummies are amazing! If it helps him, you are doing the right thing. Many advantages. Order a load more so you have spares!

OutComeTheWolves · 04/01/2021 20:57

Dummies are fine. They offer comfort and IMO they're not half the nightmare getting rid of that people would have you believe .

wanderlove · 04/01/2021 21:45

I also had the idea I 'shouldn't' use a dummy. When I started using one I couldn't believe I hadn't? Why would I want my baby upset when she could be calm and happy. I'm not even sure why I thought I shouldn't use a dummy tbh

New posts on this thread. Refresh page