Being a parent

[Rhian31]

Hi everyone

I am getting married this year and my fiancé would like to have kids. I’ve always thought they’d be in my future but never particularly thought much more about them and am petrified of pregnancy and birth and the pain etc. Mainly I’m anxious and scared of the birth and not recovering from it and all the pain and how will I be able to cope with it and look after a baby who will depend on me. I suffer terribly from back pain and I worry that I won’t be able to carry on as normal during and after pregnancy.

My fiancé is very excited about kids and has asked me to focus on the positive of it all (usually my focus is on my fear and worries).

I’d really appreciate if you could help me alleviate my worries and help me see the things I should be excited about after all the pain has gone away. I think I’ve become clouded by the fear and just need some help regaining perspective.

Thank you I’m advance

Xx

Also a back pain sufferer. Had to do ivf and be induced so won’t focus on the birth but the positives. The first smile, first laugh, first cheeky defiance, tiny little outfits, first food, first mama/dada, lots of hugs.

Thank you x

Hi @Rhian31
I’ve just had my first baby (October). I suffered from awful back pain during the pregnancy and a bit afterwards - I got referred for physio and got an appointment within a week of going to my GP so that I could quickly recover and crack on with looking after the baby - that was a real positive!
I too was worried about the birth and it did end up being unexpectedly complicated BUT as soon as DD arrived, I’d already decided that I’d do it all again. Despite the rollercoaster I had in hospital, the midwives there looked after me so well, it was a hugely positive experience.
Even in these first few months, DD has changed so much, it’s been brilliant to watch her getting to know us. I didn’t know it was possible to love something this much.

Hey op having kids is very hard work but extremely rewarding too.
I have a 20 month old who doesn't stop running around from the moment she wakes up lol but she is so beautiful and a wonderful little girl. I have had back issues for a few years and do stretches and back exercises every day. If anything DD has actually make my back improve ! Purely because it forced me to address it.

I would advise you though if you are are quite young and time is not pressing on you - have some time to enjoy each other in peace and quiet - REALLY enjoy the quiet and feeling that someone doesn't need you 24/7. Because once a baby arrives it's gone - in a way you can't contemplate until it happens

Like I said it's hard but having kids is hands down the best thing about my life !