At breaking point with 2yo

[CoffeeCheeseandCupcakes]

DS just turned 2. He's never been a great sleeper, but he'd been doing really well for a while now. But for the last two weeks it's like he's scared of his cot. He won't go down for naps or nighttime on his own - he screams if you leave him and will only be cuddled to sleep. Then he wakes in the night and is awake for literally hours. We've tried cuddling him, we've tried sitting next to the cot rubbing his back, we've tried bringing him into bed with us. He eventually falls asleep after being up for 2+ hours. Last night it was 12:30-4am he was awake. Then he's obviously cranky and exhausted all day, making my typically lovely cuddling baby a miserable nightmare.

If anyone has any suggestions, I'd welcome them. But also just think I needed to vent as it's really effecting DH and I now. We're both exhausted and cranky ourselves. And I'm feeling like an absolute failure of a mum that I can't make it better.

Just to say i'm at the same point. Me and DH just had a joint cry. It was 11-2am for us last night, plus he now only eats breakfast and he headbutts everything. No idea how we go on like this.

My only thought is to move his cot to a toddler bed. But that would either be genius and help or make it 100% worse - and I'm too scared to try

@CoffeeCheeseandCupcakes could they be teething? I have a 2 year old who has never been a great sleeper, but sleeps all night about 3/4 of the time now, but when his teeth are bothering him, he's awake for 2 hours for a few nights, and is very clingy to me, needing cuddles or to be close to go to sleep.

This happened to us. The only way we got through was co-sleeping from the start of the night. That way when he stirs, I'm right there, rub his back, he goes back to sleep. If in his own bed he wakes and once he's awake there's no way to get him back to sleep. Occasionally putting lullabies on youtube in a dark room helped but even that was hit&miss. It's horrible, you have my sympathies.

It could be his 2nd molars, I guess. Nothing popping through yet - but could be shifting around and getting ready to. I did give him nurofen last night though, which didn't seem to do anything

Take the sides off / move him to a toddler bed. Make a thing of getting pillow and duvet set. Being able to see they can get out makes a big difference. We did this recently with 2yo and it was problem solved.
Be prepared for a few attempts to get up and walk out but nip them in the bud in the first night and you'll be well away.
Honestly, I know it's scary but do it

@Mylittlepony374 How was transitioning back to their bed eventually? Or do you still co-sleep?

Part of my thinking of moving him to a bed is that I could lay there with him. But not totally get locked into co-sleeping

@Pearsapiece thanks...That is what I'm in half a mind to do...Guess I should order a pillow/duvet set

This is the stage we took the side off the cot, it helped with both of ours, but they are all so different.... its bloody hard! I'm sorry I can't offer a solution but you have my sympathy!

Honestly, get down to your nearest argos and get one for tonight, you won't look back.
Something about the big change just resets them. Ds climbs into bed himself, makes me sing to him then send me out so he can go to sleep! Then he stays there all night without fuss and we wake up to him chatting to his teddies

Still co sleeping 😂😂. Haven't tried to put him back yet. Plan was "after Xmas"....

Have convinced DH that it can't get any worse, so may as well try. Off on a road trip to Argos...

We’ve had exactly this the last few weeks. Was putting it down to Christmas disrupting his routine, but we had 2 hours of non- stop screaming last night and all his back to normal in the house. You’ve given me the push I needed to get the side of his cot off tonight!

Same thing happening here with 23 month old. We’re in week 3 of it now. The first night, he climbed out of his cot 20 times so we moved him to a double bed with a gate on his door. It helped by stopping the screaming, but he still needs one of us to sit with him and rub his back / hair until he nods off - which can take 2-3 hours - or else he just runs around his room playing and pulling his clothes out of drawers etc. Most nights he sleeps through til 8am, but every so often he wakes and needs us to help him sleep again. He also dropped his nap the very same day this started, but he will sleep if I walk or drive around during nap time. No sign of the molars arriving.

I would love to hear of a solution as I have a 3 month old too and it’s exhausting!

Will report back tomorrow on how it goes...he does seem excited by his new bed. Kept climbing in and saying "night night" while we were setting it all up. 🤞🏻

Not that I'd wish this on anyone - it does make me feel better that we're not alone and it's "normal" behaviour at least

@IronyFreeAnnie how did you get on last night?

DS went to sleep okay - DH stayed with him till he was asleep, but only took 30min. But then he woke about midnight and I ended up grabbing my pillow and sleeping on the floor. Still actually feels like progress compared to the past few weeks.

@CoffeCheeseandCupcakes DS went to sleep not too badly. I did try and get him do go to sleep in his bed, but despite having spent most of the evening sitting under his duvet, he wasn’t keen on going to sleep there, so we did our usual snuggle up and he went off ok.
Woke at 1am and I ended up spending the rest of the night sleeping on the spare mattress in his room, with DS firmly attached to me.
No screaming, so some improvement, but I think we’ve a long way to go to get hi back to sleeping through the night!

Well done op, pleased there was some improvement for you. Stick with it. I was always told a new routine takes about a week to stick for babies/toddlers

Try a Nightlight if you haven't got one already. Ideally a red coloured one, because blue lights can impact melatonin production and hinder sleep.

Thanks @Pearsapiece for the push I needed! DS is currently fighting a nap, but we're persisting. Hopefully once he's back at nursery tomorrow they'll wear him out more than we do so he sleeps better anyways

God, it's torture isn't it? My DS is 27 months and currently going through the nap refusal stage. Only thing working at the moment is to drive him to sleep after lunch and then transfer him to cot. Nighttimes are okay just now but frequent early starts 5.50am etc.

I know he is not ready to drop the nap yet and he's just fighting it. Have literally just had an argument with DH about it because he thinks that we are driving him to sleep too much and I've said that we need to do what works during this period. He makes me feel like such a cold-hearted bitch because I physically need DS to have his nap so I can have a little break from him during the day at the moment to get some bits done or have a nap myself. Nursery is back on Tuesday thank god.

I’m in this situation too. DD is 2 in less than 2 weeks, been in a toddler bed with a bed guard since March because she was constantly climbing out hurting herself. Tried removing the guard a few weeks ago wondering if she felt trapped in but nope it’s not helped.
She has a nightlight too.
We’ve been in this up in the middle of the night hell for about 6 months now on and off. I always wonder if it coincides with teething but it’s not always the case.
Last night she was up 12-4,30
Tonight she woke at 22.45 and is still going strong. Right now she’s crying it out because I have no fight left in me.
I’m exhausted, I work 12 hour shifts and DP also works full time.
I’m so sorry I can’t be of any help but please if you find a solution absolutely share it with me I would kill for some sleep.
I think we are at the stage of having to take her downstairs in the night, DP take her on the nights when I have work the next day and me on my days off. Otherwise none of us are sleeping and it’s dangerous in my job to be too overtired 😭😭

@Poppop4 omg I don't think I could cope for 6months of this! So far DS has done two nights in the toddler bed, but still been up for 2hrs in the night. And DH and I have taken turns of sleeping on the floor next to him...Not ideal

Does your DD still nap during the day?

@CoffeeCheeseandCupcakes
She did still nap for anything from 1-2hours until around a week ago and she seems to have stopped that nap. She’s back at nursery tomorrow so I’ll be interested to see if she still naps there with them.
The drop in nap is making her need an earlier bedtime but she seems to be waking up more in the night since dropping the nap.
Ive sort of got used to it now and keep hoping she’ll just grow out of it eventually 😂

Oh jeez. I mean, I need him to keep napping for my own sanity. But do wonder if no/shorter nap would mean he sleeps better at night.

All my hopes are with nursery wearing him out now...as if they don't have enough on their plates! 😂