Older child left out

[jabice]

I have 2 girls - 3 & 9 months.

The youngest is very, very demanding.
Doesn't let me put her down. Whinges all day long.

I feel bad for my eldest as she wants to play, and I do try and find suitable sized toys/games etc so that we can all play together, but my youngest is so loud and demanding that sometimes my eldest goes off to watch telly on her own because she's blatantly not getting enough attention.

I play with my eldest 1 on 1 when baby sleeps, but I just feel so guilty.

How the hell do people manage to give enough attention to both children when one is so demanding?

Basically it's just impossible. Sounds like you're already doing everything you can. If your partner could take the baby even for ten mins a day so you can spend some quality time with the older one that could help?

Oh yes you're already playing when baby is asleep, I think you're doing fine. The guilt is just par for the course...

@ducktales1986 I am so glad you've said it's impossible!!! I feel like everyone else must somehow manage it and I'm the only one with the issue, so this is good news 😂.

I try and spend time each week taking her for a date somewhere, but yeah my youngest just will not leave me be for even 10 mins 😩.

No it's the worst isn't it. Such a shock for the older one when they've had your undivided attention for so long. I hate it! Sometimes I do just let the baby cry if the older one really needs me and verbalise something like "I know you really need me right now so X will have to wait" - I read somewhere once that the baby won't remember but the older one might. But obviously can't do that all the time. I just try to keep in mind that actually I am doing enough and that the benefits of having a sibling will even out the initial downsides for older one. Soon they'll be able to play together...